Hormones

He'd be better off

Jian and BangChan sat around in a smoothie  place that had been just built down the road from where BangChan lived. They where both bored so they thought there stop by to see if it was any good.

Jian put the straw up to her lips. She got some in her mouth, made a face, and spit it back into her cup. BangChan laughed at her. "It tastes like Pepto!" She yelled and BangChan smacked the table.

After the laughter calmed down between to two, a silence fell upon them. BangChan glanced around the room, trying to come up with whatever topic he could think of. "So that guy...what happened?"

Jian sighed and set her smoothie down on the wood table they sat by. "He's not in jail yet. He's going to court though. For raping me" Jian said making air quotes. "I gotta show up there next Tuesday."

BangChan nodded. "Do you love him?"

Jian shook her head. "No not really. I thought I did but now I realize I don't at all." BangChan nodded. "But I wish I had someone to love me. I think that's the reason I stayed with him. Because I wanted someone there who loved me."

BangChan starred at her. "I can understand that." They both sat in a melancholy silence. "But what if," he paused thinking if he should say it or not. "I could be the person that loves you?"

Jian raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What do you mean?" BangChan laughed and covered his face. "Did you really not know?" Jian shook her head like she'd gone mad. "You like me?" She yelled making almost the whole place look over at them. He nodded and laughed at her. "I feel as if I've made it pretty obvious!" Jian was now laughing at the situation but it was more of a nervous laugh. "Ok well...?" BangChan said. "Sure." Jian said and BangChan stood up. "Really?!"

Jian nodded. "I heard dating your best friend is the best way to not have conflicts in the relationship."

Yuuri came home and went into his bedroom. The apartment was quiet like always, but it felt lonelier than usual.

He took his shirt off, glancing down at the binder covering his chest before putting a black Nirvana shirt on. He changed his jeans into sweat pants and sat down at his desk. He looked at his desk and saw a paper with Namjoon's hand writing on it.

Yuuri rolled his eyes and picked it up lazily.

Be patient and strong;
Someday this pain will be useful to you.
Namjoon <3

Yuuri starred at the paper and sat it down on the desk in front of him. Yuuri crinkled it up and tossed it into the trash can underneath his desk.

A few hours passed. Namjoon had never came in to say goodnight to him, his parents got home, his car never came into the driveway, he didn't know what was happening.

Yuuri got up and peeked into Namjoon's room. Nothing.

He called him a few times, Namjoon not picking up the call. He decided to give it a rest and see if he was home by tomorrow morning.

Yuuri woke up and got out of bed. He put on a hoodie and skinny jeans before grabbing his things. He checked Namjoon's room again and he still wasn't there. He peeked into the kitchen and the living room still not seeing him.

Yuuri had to walk to school that day, his feet hurting my the time he got there, later to have blisters on his feet from his boots. Namjoon normally drove him to school everyday.

He dragged his feet into the school parking lot and gasped for air. "Namjoon when I find you I'm gonna slit your throat." He mumbled to himself.

Just then a red Nissan pulled up next to him. Aisha peeked her head out the window and waved. "Hey! Where's Namjoon?"

Yuuri looked sideways at her. "I can't find him. He didn't come home last night."

Aishas eyes widened and she looked into her car. "Hey, wanna skip?" She asked holding up a white and red pack if Marlboro cigarettes. Yuuri looked ahead at the school and then back to Aisha. He nodded his head and walked around her car, and got in.

They drove away from the hell building and got Starbucks with a gift card Aisha had gotten from her grandma for her birthday. "I got the car from my grandma. She died and in her will said to give me her car." Aisha nodded and Yuuri laughed. "What? It was a necessary evil!"

Some time passed. "Aisha I really just don't know what happening! You know what he does and I've been scared of something like this happening! What if he's dead! In a ditch somewhere! Maggots crawling underneath his skin! If he still has any!"

Yuuri sobbed and Aisha tried to console him. "Hey! Don't think like that! I'm sure he's fine."

"You havnt read the note he left though!" He yelled. "Be patient and strong. This pain will be useful to you someday." He said in a mocking voice.

"Maybe he wants to break up."

Yuuri looked at her with a scoff. "Are you even trying to make me feel better?" Aisha shrugged. "I don't really know how to. I mean he just left you without saying anything. He didn't even say anything to his moms."

Yuuri set his head down on the dash board and Aisha rubbed his back. He lifted his head up a few inches before dropping it back down, hitting his head. "Woah woah woah! You might make the air bag go off!" Aisha said and he lifted his head.

Later, around noon, Aisha dropped him off back at the apartment. He laid in bed and called Namjoon a few more times. Still nothing.

Yuuri teared up a bit, only thinking the worse.

The next day Yuuri again didn't go to school, instead just not bothering to get out of bed. He called and called and called Namjoon's number over and over again on repeat, not having much more hope.

Meanwhile, Namjoon sat in the motel in Pensilvania, watching his phone blow up from Yuuri's calls. He cried a bit thinking about Yuuri. He cried very often because of that.

"Lisa? Do you think I should pick up?" He would ask while Lisa dried her hair from just taking a shower.

"Namjoon. I don't think you should leave him like that. You not being there can be long enough for him to miss you, but, over time, he might learn to live without you. If you love him, I don't think you want that." Lisa said facing a mirror but looking at him sitting on the bed in the reflection. He sighed and rested his weight back on his hands, hanging his head back and looking up at the ceiling.

He stayed silent. Didn't say anything. Lisa changed her clothes and got into bed next to him. "Goodnight." She said turning off the lamp beside her on the night stand. The room became dark, the sound of crickets being heard outside the Motel.

Namjoon starred up at the ceiling, noting seeing anything but darkness as his eyes started to adjust to it.

"Maybe..." Namjoon began taking a deep breath in and out before continuing. Lisa opened her eyes starting at him, laying on her side. "He'd be better off , living without me. Maybe, it'd be better to let him learn instead of telling him I'm never coming back."