Black Swan (Kim Namjoon x reader)

Chapter 10

The dreaded moment came. You stood in front of the gate of your house. Your feet planted firmly to the ground as if you were a permanent part of the street. The house looked as it always had. The metal gate was scarred with rusts from the years of rain and snow. Dead plants that you tried growing still sat in their pots by the corner. There was the window that appa accidentally smashed when he was installing the TV. It was the first time you saw Eomma angry, they had a big fight and you hid in your room. You were sure it wasn't right to keep calling them your parents but since you still don't know who you really are and the fact that they did somewhat raise you, there was no other name appropriate.

"What's wrong?" Namjoon asked. He stood beside you, letting the afternoon breeze rake through his wig. It must have been hot for him, but he looked unbothered.

"I'm just nervous," you confessed. You hadn't expected to go home right away but Taehyung wanted you to have another day off just in case so home was the only destination after school. If you could even call it that. If those Knights are from the Queen, this is your prison.

"You'll be fine," Namjoon assured.

You turned to look at him, "How do you know?"

"Because you have to," he stated plainly. "You have to be okay, otherwise you will die. Otherwise, your friends will die, and the people you care about. I'll probably die too, along with the boys because we're involved with you. You don't want that much on your hands, right?"

A knot grew around your voice, the kind that makes you want to weep. "No," you answered in a quiet voice. Not only did you not know who you are, but you were also now tasked with the impossible burden of keeping everyone around you alive. It meant that you could no longer be weak, you had to be okay even if you aren't. "I'm fine."

"Good," Namjoon huffed. "Jungkook will be by later tonight to keep watch over the Knights and I'll be here in the morning to take you to school. So don't worry."

"Thanks." He waited until you were inside to leave. An annoying feeling nagged him to stay a bit longer, but he ignored it. She's not worth it, he thought.

They were in their usual place on the couch once you got inside. Their heads turned at the same time to look at you, just like they do every single time they come home. Their eyes were bleak and they didn't even crack a smile. Come to think of it, you couldn't remember the last time you saw them actually happy. They went back to what they were doing, watching the afternoon news. Their movements mirrored each other and were robot-like, just like chess pieces. "I'll be studying in my room," you called out while heading up the stairs.

"Okay, I'll get you when it's time for dinner," the woman said.

Up along the wall on the staircase, photographs of you throughout your childhood hung. In every single picture, you were alone. You never thought of how odd it was and now wondered if they can appear in pictures or not, like vampires. When you were in fifth grade, there was an assignment to do a family tree. You couldn't find any pictures of you with your parents or any other relatives. They gave you no answer when you tried asking them for it. Everything turned into a big and unnecessary fight. Eventually, you ended up drawing them on the poster. Your teacher frowned and gave you a barely passing grade. When you needed them for a parent-teacher conference, they both magically came down with the flu the day of. They even paid your neighbor to go with you. When you were at your violin recital, their seats were always empty.

There were so many signs. But you were good at looking past red flags. The worst-case scenario in your mind was that you were adopted. In some way, you guess you were.

The homework had been completed an hour ago, but you didn't want to leave your room. Even before you found out the truth about their identities, you never wanted to be around them much. Not only did they lack empathy for anything, but they also made it a point to make sure you never felt good about yourself. That's why you worked so hard to do well in school, that's why you're always obedient and gave up the violin.

You took a deep breath and braced yourself for the trip downstairs. The woman hasn't called you out for dinner yet but you figured you could help them set up or something. Quietly as you made your way down the stairs, you took a quick peek at them. The man sat on the sofa, his eyes glued to the TV. He sat up straight, his back barely touching the cushion. His face was blank. Then he raised his hand up with the remote to be parallel to the ground to change the channel. It was a habit you recognized a long time ago. You always thought it was weird. In the kitchen, the woman stood still in front of a boiling pot. Then she dunked a finger in to check the temperature. Her face showed no sign of agony or even the slightest bit of pain. She took her finger out and nodded in satisfaction before pouring in the ingredients for a soup.

You waited on top of the staircase until dinner was completed to come down. Everyone took their usual seat and dinner went on as planned. You stuffed your mouth with rice in the hopes to calm down your accelerating heart rate. The man and the woman didn't notice your hectic state of mind. You wondered how much longer you could take of this pretending this is normal. But as Namjoon said, you have to be okay or else you will meet your demise. You bit back your tears and continued eating.

Also as Namjoon promised, Jungkook came later that night to watch over the knights while you slept. And in the morning, Namjoon waited by the gates for you. Maybe this is how life is going to be forever and you will just have to be okay with it.