I'm all I've got

Revelations

"Why don't you talk to mom?" I asked the first thing that came to mind.

" You don't even talk about her,"

"And here I am thinking you'd ask something more interesting,"  she slightly pouted her lips, making them look even more kissable than they did before

"I don't know why you think something's wrong, but it's not," she answered, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear, so I just stared her down, until she got uncomfortable and told me. "After mom told me she was sick, we kinda grew apart; I realized that as much as she claimed to care about me, she didn't have my best interest at heart when it truly mattered."

"So you don't visit her at all?" I asked wondering what could've been so bad, she didn't want to see her.

"I used to, years ago, but she's gotten worse since then, and I feel like it doesn't matter if I visit her or not, it's not like she remembers me," she shrugs

I wanted to ask more questions, but I knew I'd come off as judgemental, which I had no right to do, so I just nodded, and accept her reasoning.

"And before you say anything; yes, I know mom loves me," I smiled as she finished her sentence, thinking back to arguments we had about who was mom's favorite, which always seemed like a harmless conversation, but I knew it meant more to her than that.

"Tell me about college! How was it for you? You were always excited about it," she spoke up excitingly, changing the subject as she crossed her legs, sitting Indian style.

I've lied to Lex about a lot of things, simple things, hard things, things that weren't worth lying about, a lot of which she has yet to realize are lies.
And sadly, college was one of them

"I went to Berkeley," I announced, seeing her expression rapidly change to one of disbelief.

"That's in California," she gave me a hesitant smile, probably thinking she misheard.

"Yea," I trailed off, waiting for her to make the connection

"But, I thought you were Upstate," she trailed off. "That's where you said you..." she stared at me dumbfounded

She stared at me blankly for a long time, calculating when I first began lying to her. We chose our collages together, separate collages because we wanted different career paths, but we wanted to be with each other through college, so we chose different colleges, but they were both in New York, it was our way of achieving what we wanted within our lives while remaining together.

The server came over to take our orders, but I was too focused on Lex's reaction to tell her what I wanted, so she left; it's been at least five minutes and she hasn't said anything.

"Did mom know," her voice came out timidly, as her eyes connected back with mines

I stayed quiet, thinking back to her previous statement about mom,  knowing anything I say will only intensify the feeling she already felt towards her.

I could see tears building up in her eyes, but she quickly tilted her head back, refusing to let any of them fall. "Of course she did," she dryly chuckled

"She wanted-," I went to explain, just as she cuts me off. " Don't do that; if she wanted to, she would.  Did you tell her not to?"

'I didn't'

I did want to tell Alex the truth, but mom thought it would make her upset, which is why I didn't.

Reaching for the menu on the table she placed it in her lap and started reading it. "It's a nice night." She forced a smile. "Let's not ruin it."