I'm all I've got

Consistancy

Sorry for the mistakes

June 6th

Zyaire

Waking up this morning, I went to Ms. Margaret's to see if she can help me figure out some personal problems. She's helping me get somewhere with Alex, so I figured she could help me with myself.

"What's the problem? We don't meet until later," she asked as I stepped inside. It was pretty early, but I knew she'd have appointments, so I came before they started

"I've been talking to Ava behind Alex's back for the past two years; I know I need to tell her, but I'm not exactly sure how to," I ranted

She gaped shockingly at me for a moment before letting out a loud sigh. "How did that even happen?"

"Ava found me on social media and texted me," I answered

It was random, but I had just started putting out music and getting recognition, so I guess it wasn't that hard to believe that she'd find me

"Did you ever ask her if Alex was ok with that?" she frowned

"No, because I knew she wasn't. Ava never talked about her unless I asked, so I knew she didn't know," I explained

"What should I do?" I asked. "I wanna tell her, but I feel like we're in a good place, we're making progress, and if I tell her now that all goes away,"

"I see where you're coming from
, but, If it's one thing know about Alex is that she loves the truth, so maybe if you tell her from now she won't be as mad as she would be later that's the best advice I can give you on that,"

She didn't tell me much I didn't already know, but I nodded my head, telling her I understood

"Is there anything else bothering you?" she asked

"Yeah, there is, now that you asked,"

" What is it?"

"I know we here for a reason, but I have a feeling something's wrong and I just can't put my finger on it."

I've been feeling like that for a while now; I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to get it out of my head

"Have you ever felt that way before, when you guys were in a relationship?" she looked at me curiously

"Yeah," I replied, recalling the many occasions in college when my entire mental state felt off. "Alex and I had this weird connection where we'd know if something was wrong with each other based on how we were feeling, so when I started feeling the way I was, I knew it wasn't about me because, at the time, everything in my life appeared to be perfect; the only person missing was her, and I knew she was disappointed and sad because I left, so blamed it on that."

Nodding her head, she listens carefully to what I said before saying.
"Did you ever do anything about it?"

I did, but I couldn't tell her that. As far as I know, Alex hadn't told her, and I'm sure she has a reason, so I'll keep it to myself until she brings it up. " No, I didn't, " I lied

She looked at me for a couple of seconds, trying to read my face, but when she didn't get anything, she smiled and shook her head before writing something.

"So do you know if something's wrong with her?"

"Nothings wrong with her, but I'm sure if there's something wrong, she'll tell you soon enough,"