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I nervously pace around in front of the door, trying to gather every single thing I have to gather my courage to walk through the door.

Here I am. A month later since the uswnt camp. I haven't talked to Mal after I confessed my feelings for her, I was too scared. I am still too scared. I can't do this. Everything is going good for once in my life, I can't hear her rejection.

She tried to call me. She texted me everyday. But I never answered the phone. Christen told me, I need to talk to Mallory, but I just couldn't.

Right now, I am standing in front of the door of the hospital. My appointment for top surgery is in ten minutes. I've been standing here for over a half hour. The people inside must be thinking that I am crazy.

I am excited, but soo freaking nervous. I haven't told anyone that I have an appointment, which I think of now as a mistake. Someone could've come with me to calm me down, but noo I am too stupid. The only person who did know, is the one I am too afraid of to talk to.

I take a deep breath, to calm down my nerves. My shaky hand reaches for the door handle. Right when I am about to open the door, someone lays their hand on my shoulder. I turn around to look who it is and to tell them to back off, when I see these familiar brown eyes staring back at me.

"You are not alone, Y/nn", she smiles softly.

"Mal? What are you doing here?", I ask confused. She doesn't look mad at me for ignoring her. But maybe she just doesn't show that. She looks kind of sad.

"I am not going to let you go through this alone", she answers and takes a step towards me. She takes a deep breath and takes my hand in hers before speaking. "I love you too, Y/nn".

I look at her confused. When I confessed she didn't say anything? I thought that was a bad sign so I ran away. But for her coming here, telling me she loves me is very confusing.

"What do you mean?", I frown. Is she joking? That would be cruel.

"You didn't give me the chance to say it back when you confessed your feelings for me. And since then I have tried to contact you but you would ignore me and I tried to go see you, but you weren't staying at campus anymore and nobody knew where you were", she explains. "I knew you had an appointment so I came to see you. I am not alone though".

When she tells me that, she points to some group of people behind me. I look over her head, seeing some of our teammates standing there. Christen, Tobin, Ashlyn and Ali.

"The others would've come, but they didn't want to overwhelm you, so we will be seeing them later", she tells me and smiles softly at me.

I grin widely and pull her closer by her hips. We look each other in the eye before I press my lips against hers. We pull back and rest our foreheads against each other, breathing heavily.

"Cmon lovebirds. We have to go before Y/n is late for his appointment", Ashlyn says and slaps me on the back.

Finally, I walk into the hospital with the people I love behind me. Not all the people I love, but this is something.

After I called my parents they kicked me out. My dad said that I was a disgrace for doing this to them. For leading them on for years before I tell the whole world I want to be a boy. They told me that I was a bad child for not telling them when I had a chance. I felt guilty for a moment until I realised that they didn't even give me a chance to figure out what I wanted to be.

Anyways, I got an apartment close to the UCLA campus and they shipped of my stuff to me. I was thankful that I didn't have to be in a dorm with somebody anymore. I wasn't allowed in the girls dorms anymore.

I made some more friends on campus, some boys and girls who are also trans. We aren't with a lot, but I am happy I found some people who went through the same things.

"Y/n Y/ln?", the nurse asks as she walks into the waiting room. I nod and stand up. I give the others one last hug and Mal a kiss before I walk into the room.

I get undressed, my upper body I mean and lay down in the bed. They gave me some anaesthesia. And after ten seconds I fall asleep.

-

My eyes flutter open and I blink heavily when bright light shine into them. I groan and rub my head. It hurts.

My chest feels heavy. Ironically.

"Hey baby", I hear someone say softly. I look to my right side and see Mal looking back at me, expectantly. "You're awake".

I just nod and look around. The others aren't here. "They went to get something to eat", she tells me when she sees me searching for them.

"The operation went great the doctor said", I look down at my chest, seeing it covered with some bandages and wrap.

I grin happily. Finally.

"I love you, Mal"

"I love you too", she tells me and presses a kiss to my head. I close my eyes and let myself sink into the darkness.

-
The end




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⏰ Last updated: Oct 20, 2021 ⏰

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