Far yet closer ✓

Heroine

~~Sanju~~

It's January mid. Sunday. I sat at the edge of my bed, covered with a chota bheem bed sheet, in my tiny apartment in a secluded Andheri West community. The cool breeze of Mumbai hit my face from the bedroom window.

I stared at the letter in my left hand, which I'd been clutching for the past hour, trying to make a decision. Today is the last day for sending back my approval and I'm still here, doubting myself.  There is only one option I found suitable. I understand the consequences and am ready to face them but at what cost? What will be my future? Will it be secured? Will it be safe? Can I find my happiness? Can I pursue my dreams? Will my parents and friends understand my choice and accept it? Will it be wise to take such a decision? What will it be when on a random day I have to face the past again?

I can simply forget the letter and go back to my routine but my heart wants to choose the way this letter is about to lead. At least once in my life I want to move with my heart. Be wild. Be free.

Sighing, I fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Why is it so hard to take a simple decision?

My phone, resting beside me, dinged with a message from an unknown number. I grabbed it. 

I am pregnant.

It displayed on the screen. Scowling, I mentally kicked myself for nth time for not changing my phone number. I knew perfectly from whom the message was. My once best friend Swathi. I can't understand why she keeps on messaging me when I made clear that there is nothing left between us. Deleting the message, I threw my phone on the bed.

Sitting up, I neatly folded the letter. It's time to make my own choices. Of course it's a huge step for a person like me who never made any decisions of her own. So, I might..... cross it... I'll face problems but enough of being a coward. 

My parents might disown me but I have to take a step unless I want to lead my life in misery. No, I don't want to end my life in misery. No one can trash my career. I'm no longer a little girl. No longer a dependent woman. No more a coward. There is nothing to fear. Nothing to stop. Nothing more left to be concerned about whether my decision is right or wrong, whether I will be safe or not but it's the only choice I was left with. I need to chase my dreams. Need to find my own happiness. It's high time for me to make amends in my life. 

Being an Indian girl at 27, instead of thinking about starting my own family, here, I took a toughest and complicated decision which may ruin my life but I'm happy to face it.
I'm a finance graduate and have been working in Mumbai, my first job for 3 years.

Few weeks ago, I received an appointment letter from MI, an MNC for which I applied on advice from a foreign client of my company. I'm not sure about whether I will be selected or not but I gave it a try and thanks to my specializations I got selected. Feeling proud and enthusiastic I left for home to share the good news with my parents.

My native place is Vijayawada, Andhra Pradesh. My father is an engineer in a private company and mother is a homemaker. I'm the only daughter and well pampered. My parents felt very proud when I got my first job but it soon evaporated when I told them about my relationship with the son of our neighbor.

Now, hearing the news of my new job, I thought my parents would be proud but instead, they straight away rejected it and started forcing me for marriage with the guy they have selected but I'm not yet ready for marriage.

Even my friends started taking the side of my parents without considering the things I needed in my life. I then understood that there is no one left with me. I became alone. Feeling devastated, I returned to Mumbai and started weighing the options that are left in front of me as I'm not in a position to leave this great opportunity. At last I came up with a solution which will be very unwelcoming to my parents and friends but I need to do it. For myself.

Taking a deep breath I looked around the room. My home. I still remembered the huge long discussions I had with my parents for letting me stay alone other than in some PG. Finally they agreed only if I had chosen some well secured apartment. This home. My freedom. My heaven.

Now or never. Come on, Sanju. Let's do it.

Patting myself, I exhaled hard. It felt all the negative energy drained from my body. Feeling the new determination, I went into the living room, grabbed my laptop and quickly typed my reply. Then I proceeded to make all the necessary arrangements.

I felt enthusiastic, nervous, tense, scared, and relieved all at the same time. But there is no backing down now. I need it. I have to prove myself. I need to embrace my fate with open hands.

Later that night, I slept peacefully after many days.

********************************************************

Hello, my lovelies,

I wanted to let you all know that I have republished my story. 

The plot remains the same, but I have done some editing and made some changes to the title and cover photo. I hope you all like it.

If you are a new reader, please feel free to leave your comments. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Love,Sanju