𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘴

𝘵𝘸𝘰

𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘴

Lifting the coffee mug to my lips, I watched everything. I saw how people laughed together, how they ordered their food, what their body's did when they talked.

I looked down at my journal, not really knowing what to write. I usually have something in my mind but lately, I've had nothing. It's like all the feelings and words have left my body and I can't think of anything....writers block.

I wanted to just throw my pen and rip the pages out of my notebook, it was pathetic that I couldn't think...so fucking pathetic.

Taking the last sip of the coffee, I got up leaving Starbucks...a waste of time. When I stepped out, I realized I didn't come in my car. I don't like driving in my car around this city, I mean I do but if I can walk to Starbucks I will. I'm not wasting money on gas, when I can literally just walk there. Plus the city can be pretty interesting when you walk.

Gladly, I saw my house, it honestly isn't hard to find in a neighborhood like mine. All the houses are white, blue, yellow, off white, in pastels of course. My house on the other hand is black. Not one hint of pastel, it's just black. I like it like that. Dark and relaxing.

While I was going up my steps I noticed a car was at my neighbors house. I don't remember Margie selling the house, Margie is a 64 year old women who lived next door... she didn't drive.

Could be grandkids?

I saw some empty boxes close to the car. Is someone else living in there? I hate change, I like the way my neighbors stay neighbors. They are quiet neighbors too what if the person next door is annoying and loud.

I looked like a weird stalker just staring at the house, so I quickly went into my house locking it as I did. A big sigh came out of my mouth, i hate change.

Shaking it off, I took off my sweater and t-shirt leaving me in sweats. I walked to my living room sitting down in my black couch, time to kill time reading books. Taking out a cigarette from my pack, I lit it, I put the stick in between my lips already feeling my anger being released.Leave me with a cigarette, a book, and a dark room, I swear I won't actually go mad.

It was around 6 or 7 o'clock, when I stopped reading. I was cooking myself dinner, when I heard a knock on my door. No one knocks on my door. I don't even order packages and if I did, it would not come this late.

Someone is wasting my time, someone wants to take time in their day to knock on my door? For what? To talk to me? Why do they want to talk to me? I sighed to myself as I opened the door. I held the door open and rested my other hand on the door frame. I looked ahead but there wasn't anyone there.

"Hello!" It was a girl, she was short....really short. 5'0? 5'1? I'm 6'3 so I wasn't surprised if she was short to me. Probably went up to my shoulder. She has brown hair that goes up to her mid back. Big eyes, not that big but they weren't bad. Perfect shape. Pouty rose lips. Hour glass body figure. She looked like a doll.

"I'm the new neighbor, Kendall White, just moved here from Wisconsin. I wanted to say hi, I also made cookies but extra were left out so I brought some for my neighbors if that's okay?" She looked kinda nervous, I stared at her, studying her face well.

"Thanks for the cookies" I grabbed the cookies and closed the door. She was cute. I probably should have introduced myself but it's not a good day for me to be talking about myself.

I continued cooking my dinner that was interrupted by a small girl. I sat at the table alone, the only light I got in the dinging room was from the dimmed white led lights. It was so lonely though. Most times being alone is good for me, sometimes I wish I had someone to just sit with. No talking I feel like if they talk it would annoy me.... It will annoy me.

I stared at the cookies, that could be dessert. It isn't a bad idea to just try it. I opened the plastic container, taking out a small cookie. It had chocolate chips with a heart made with sprinkles. Normal cookies are preferred...no sprinkles.

I bit into the cookie, surprised with the flavor. It was good, not dry. The chocolate melted in my mouth just how I liked cookies made. It reminds me of when I was young and my nanny made cookies for me. It was perfect.

I ate a few more before I went to my room to attempt my writing process. I sat on the window sill thinking of all the things I did today that were actually a bit interesting.

My thoughts got interrupted by the neighbors room light. I forgot I would literally be sleeping next to her. My window and her window were the same, same goes with the rest of the houses on this block the structure is the same, so I could technically see into her room, she can see into mine.

She had very thin white transparent curtains, she was also sitting on the window sill. She didn't face me which was good, it would have been embarrassing if she faced me and saw me just staring at her.....or maybe she can't see me. I studied her silhouette, then it came to me.

I grab my pen pressing it to the blank page of my journal. She's something new. I haven't written about something new in a while.

It is September 14th 2020, I had nothing interesting happen, it was all the same thing. An on-going cycle, it never stops. Today on the other hand I saw someone. Well I noticed that Margie wasn't living in her house, there was a small car that looked old right in front of her house. I tried to not accept the fact that Margie wasn't there, I didn't want change. It makes my life more difficult then it already is. I should have gone to therapy today, I blew it off like always. While I was cooking my dinner at 7 like every other day, someone knocked on my door. It was horrible, who knocks on my door? Who would want to knock on my door, I clearly don't disturb anyone so they won't disturb me. I should probably put up a sign that says, leave and never come back. When I opened the door, I didn't really look down first so I didn't see who was there until she said hello. I've never seen such a small girl other then children and elderly people. She had long brown hair, it was probably a little lighter in the sun, her eyes were almond shaped and a bit large compared to other people, they weren't bug eyes though, I couldn't really see the color because of the darkness. She had plumped pouty lips and a perfect nose. I got a glimpse of her body, it was also perfect, an hour glass. She gave me cookies, just like Maria used to make. I wonder what she smells like, maybe vanilla? Flowers? Sweetness? I'm not sure, I only saw her for 3 minutes. Kendall White. That's her name, it's a pretty name.

Putting down my journal I looked over at the window once more before I went to shower. She was talking on the phone with someone.

I really have to stop being a stalker, i got up walking over to my bathroom.

I think she smells like something sweet.