EDEN | Yoonmin

thirty-four

thirty-four

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day 20

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The following are a series of entries from the journal of Park Jimin

-- Yoongi and I have become inseparable by this point. It's becoming increasingly harder for me to focus on anything else around me because he's constantly on my mind (not that I think it's a bad thing). More and memories are resurfacing, and I'm feeling more drawn to him than ever. I can remember every time he's touched me, pleased me. It's so strange, to know the touch of a man from centuries ago, as if they were brand new. It feels like I'm being touched for the very first time by him, which I know is not the case, but still...it's exhilarating. At least I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's impacted Yoongi as well. They went into the office the other day, and when they returned, Hoseok told me that he was an absolute mess the entire time; pouting and whining about wanting to go home. I feel almost powerful knowing I have such an effect on him, that I can make him weak in the knees with the simplest touch, or my very presence.

We haven't just grown closer emotionally - physically, we're much closer. He wasn't kidding when he said he knew every inch of my body - as if it were made for him. Every kiss was addictive, and lustful. Every touch left me with a burning sensation, every stroke created by his hands or with every thrust of his hips...I wasn't aware it was possible to feel that level of pleasure. No man has every brought me to such a high before, one strong enough to make my mind go blank or leave me speechless. I can feel the way his hands slid across my body whenever I shut my eyes. I can hear his beautiful voice ringing in my ears, purring all sorts of pretty nonsense to arouse me. I can feel each kiss that was placed against my skin, his lips and teeth sucking and biting marks onto my body. I'm reminded of just how much he owns my very being when I glance at my reflection and see the bruising on my neck and chest. I feel weak in the knees just thinking about it...can still feel the heat in my stomach...

-- it's becoming easier for me to recognize my own feelings. I don't feel as conflicted as I used to. I feel whole, getting to be with him in this way.

-- I can't believe a month has almost passed. It doesn't feel like that much time has passed. Living here, at Eden, feels like living in limbo - a reality where time isn't real, or if it is, passes by in unconventional ways. It feels like only yesterday I was running through the woods and now...I'm scared to leave here, scared to leave him. I'm tempted to stay here forever, and I know Yoongi wouldn't mind. Hell, he'd probably lock me up and throw away the key if I asked him too. But I have another life out there, that I need to return to. I miss Jin, and Jungkook, and they've been so patient with me, that they deserve to know what's been happening in my life. I just hope that maybe they can learn to accept what's happening. That they won't try and shun me away from him. I think I'd go crazy if I could never see him again. We need to talk about what comes next - when I return...home. Where do we go from there?
     -- I've been wondering ĺately about what we are. Are we lovers? Boyfriends? Husbands? Are we even legally married in this time? It's odd to think about him as my husband, that I'm married. It all feels natural and I know that I should be freaking out a bit more. But I can't see anything wrong with it if it feels so good. We're oddly domestic in a way, and it makes me wonder what a life with Yoongi would look like. In some ways, I feel like a stranger to him, and other times, it feels like we've managed to pick up from where we left off.

-- the thought of not being his to begin with has plagued me so much that I finally got a chance to ask him what that meant. He seemed almost annoyed at the thought that I thought for sure it crossed a line. But all he did was pull me close and hold me. 'You were meant to marry another' he told me in a low voice. 'If I hadn't met you that day, your life would have been much different from the one we have now,' I didn't press him any further. He looked upset at the thought of me with another man, and I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to think about him with someone else. Besides, none of that mattered. I was here with him, and he was here with me. That's what was important.

-- I wonder what it's like to be bitten by a vampire. I've noticed that Yoongi's been biting more often when we're kissing. He doesn't bite me hard enough to break skin, but it's enough to say it does something to me. His teeth are sharp - like a warning against my skin - but still gentle enough, finding the perfect balance between rough and tender. I wonder if he's ever bitten me before. It would explain the bite marks and bruising around my neck after my nightmares.
     I wonder what it would be like to be a vampire. I wonder if he'd...no, he wouldn't.
     Would he?

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The following are a series of entries from the journal of Min Yoongi

-- I can't keep my hands off him. I'm a mess; is this what it's like to be a hormonal teenager? I can't control myself, it's almost embarrassing. It doesn't help that he's more than willing to let me touch him. It's as if I haven't been the only one holding back my desires. I don't even have to say please at this point, one look is enough for him to drag me closer.

This makes it sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. A part of me just worried that he's acting on old feelings. That this is how he's supposed to be feeling because that's how things were years ago. But then I see his eyes, the warmth and happiness in them, and I know that that's not the case. That he craves my affection as I crave his and that he's no longer afraid to ask for it. It amusing to watch him go red in the face whenever he asks for something. I can hear his heart race in his chest. I can remember every moan, every breathy pant and whine that escaped him. It was like the first time all over again but somehow better than I could have remembered.

It felt wonderful to have him against my body once more- skin to skin contact, his warmth pressed against me. It felt amazing to feel his hands gripping and clawing at my skin, marking me up like I had marked him. I felt as if I was ruining him all over again. No - not felt- I am ruining him all over again. It's exhilarating. It doesn't feel nearly as sinful as it did before. There's no need to hide what I've done to him. I can ruin my pretty little human without consequences, and ruin him I will. At this point, I have little doubt that he wouldn't let me.

-- it's almost as if he wants me to ruin him. Waking up next to Jimin has become a dangerous game of seduction, by I suppose that's what happens when you're separated for nearly five centuries. You have to play catch up.

-- I can't believe a month has almost come and gone. It feels like it was only yesterday that I was begging for him to stay with me, and now...I don't want him to leave, as selfish as it sounds. He has a life outside of me to return to, but I'm afraid that if he walks through those front doors I may never see him again. What if this was all a dream? That if he leaves me it'll be for good. Jimin assured me that it won't happen, that we'll always be together but the fear is there. I don't want him to leave. I can't lose him. Our story isn't ending here...it's just beginning.

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if there are issues with this chapter I'm sorry, updating from the tablet still. Also don't know how I feel about this chapter, but it's more of a filler if anything. If anything confuses you or you have questions about anything leave a comment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.