EDEN | Yoonmin

sixty-one

sixty-one

_____ 🌿 _____

The following are a series of journal entries from the diary of Park Jimin

Saturday

— my nightmares continue to haunt me, even in Yoongi's company. Even after the initial attack at our apartment, the pale hands and Dk still continue to torment me when I close my eyes.

I don't understand why Dk has been the subject of my dreams. Maybe I'm substituting him for the original man, putting a face — any face — to him and Dk seemed to be the most fitting, what with his behaviour these past few encounters.

I haven't told Yoongi, or anyone, that I've dreaming about him. I'm afraid, afraid of what Yoongi will think of me, afraid of what Jin's reaction will be, but mostly I'm afraid of what this means. Does Dk really creep me out that much that my subconscious has replaced the man from the lake with him or is there more to Dk that I'm not willing to accept.

Tuesday

— Yoongi won't let me out of his sight. He won't even let Jin or Kook come near me some days. I can't tell if my friends are annoyed with his behaviour or if they pity him.

Jin and Jungkook have practically moved into Eden at this point. Hoseok refuses to let Jungkook do anything alone and Tae has gone full, overprotective, boyfriend mode. Jungkook's bruises have almost gone away, but several large scratches remained. Namjoon and Aurora did everything they could, but the look in Namjoon's eyes made me believe that Jungkook might have some permanent scarring.

I can't help but feel sick to my stomach every time I look at him. It's all my fault he's injured and even though I know Jungkook doesn't think that, I can't bring myself to think otherwise. It's all my fault and now Jin might be in danger too.

Friday

— I've stopped going into work. I've never missed so much work in all my life; it's to the point that I can't tell if my boss is upset or not. I might need to start looking for new employment soon, but I can't imagine working elsewhere. I love the greenhouse. I think Yoongi feels guilty about taking me away from there, because every time Hoseok slips off to the city or Aurora goes out, they're always coming back with seedlings or plants for me or for the house. Hoseok brought home four more Cherry blossom trees the other day. Yoongi and I planted them along the walkway leading up to the house. I feel like I've spent more time outside than I have inside. I think they're trying to keep me distracted. It's working.

Sunday

— my nightmares are getting worse, but they're changing now. I'm still drowning, but I'm running now — away from something, towards something, I can't quite make out, but I never reach my destination. The pale hands always find their way to me and drag me to a water grave. They tell me they have to punish me, but punish me for what? What did I do that prompted them to hate me so much?

They tell me I've sinned, but sinned how? Is it my love for Yoongi or is it something...else?

Nobody seems to have any answers.