#YTLE
"Hindi ka ba magtatanong?"
Nilatag ko ang bandana na lagi kong dala at doon kami naupo. Hindi ko siya sinulyapan sa buong oras na nandoon kami. Diretso lang ang titig ko sa puntod ng mga magulang ko.
Natawa ako ng mahina dahil hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita. Diretso lang din ang tingin ni Javik sa harap. He must be really mad. But my heart doesn't even feel that. It still beats crazy like before.
No. It's getting even wilder.
"After the game, I got a call from Jano." He knows my brother so I don't need to explain further.
"He's crying. That's when I knew that something was wrong." Hindi na bago para sa akin nang maramdaman ang luha na umaagos sa mga pisngi ko.
"Mama had cancer. Early stage pero lumala daw nung pumutok ang bituka niya. Hindi pa nga yata lumilipas ang isang linggo no'n, pero malala na ang lagay niya. All the money we have were gone. Napambayad na sa hospital at may mga utang pa. My trust fund that could help me get back to college... wala. Nagamit na rin.
Funny. I was so ready for my Mama when her time will come pero nobody expected that my Papa would go first. Nung nalaman namin sa doctor na malala na ang lagay ni Mama, he fell into a shock. Malala na rin pala ang diabetes niya. He became alcoholic since Mama. Two weeks after he died, Mama followed him."
I had to stop because my nose was getting too stuffy. Kinuha ko ang wipes ko sa bag ko at pinunasan ang luha ko. Titigil na sana ako sa pagluha ko pero lalo akong napahagulgol ng yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit.
Naramdaman ko na lang na binuhat niya ako at pinatong sa mga hita niya. Hindi ko na iyon pinagtuunan pa ng pansin. He caressed my back continuously.
"You can stop," he said, softly. I shook my head.
"No. At least, you. Even you should know the truth," I sobbed. I tried pulling away but he didn't let me.
I didn't protest because I felt at ease when he hugged me. I feel like the pain lessened. Because he's right here—with me.
"I-I had to sell most of our properties. Our house in Manila, our cars. Muntik na rin akong mag-file for bankruptcy sa furniture shop ni Mama. I had to take care of Jano on my own. I applied for different jobs. A waitress, janitress, and a delivery rider just to pay off our debts. I did everything to save the shop because that's the only thing that reminds me of Mama.
So, I'm sorry kung hindi ako nagsabi. I'm sorry kung hindi na ako nakabalik. I'm sorry for keeping you all in the dark. I'm sorry for being so selfish," I cried.
"Shh..." He hushed and he kissed my forehead. "I knew everything. I was there," he whispered.
"You..."
Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong humiwalay sa kanya. He smiled then kissed my nose.
"You don't have to say sorry for choosing yourself and your family." He smiled. He wiped my tears with his thumb. "You are a great woman, baby. I'm sure your parents are so proud of you."
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