Confessions of an Intern

Week Twenty-nine

This first week back on inpatient medicine has been really interesting. We are a resident short on our team, not only that, but it is a second year position, one that can hold up to 8-10 patients. So, we are running our team 8-10 patients short. Our RIC (resident in charge) has seen patients on a few days and is being very helpful with the admissions and holding the call pager. I may have said it before, but I am in my element in the hospital. It is easy for me on some levels, but a challenge that I welcome where the challenges come. So far it has not been the emotional rollercoaster the last inpatient month was with patients who are terminally ill. I had one patient that was that ill, but I was not the primary physician for them, so they were the ones who shared the bad news. I just came in and helped to interpret what they had decided on with hospice.

More of a challenge this month is the personalities of my team members. My RIC is extremely helpful and forthcoming. My fellow first year is offering more challenges. We have worked together before on medicine and she had done fairly well, but she is one of those who has a chip on her shoulder and if questioned or challenged, comes back with a lot of venom and anger. It's a toxic working relationship. This has been the biggest challenge this week, compounded by the fact that none of us is sleeping well. I try to be helpful and offer assistance but you know all the cliches: leading a horse..., biting the hand..., etc. I will only be helpful so long, and then I will quit trying. I tend to hold out longer than most because I don't like to give up.

The week ended up funny, because this same person called me and asked me if something was going on, because everyone was treating her different. I took this opportunity to try to offer some friendly advice and suggest she be more open to help. I told that we all have different strengths and it wasn't fair for her to compare herself to me. I had twelve years of hospital experience to bolster my knowledge and offered to tutor her in the things she was uncertain or lacking knowledge in, rather than her usual answers of 'I don't know' or 'I'm not a radiologist' or 'They didn't teach us that at my medical school'.

Her statements opened my eyes to the discrepencies in medical eduction. Residency does have to be a leveling field. It is designed to ensure basic competency among all those who have passed medical school. It also backs up my thoughts on 'pass/fail' medical schools. If there is no reason to work harder, then people will not try. I don't necessarily believe in having to have cut throat competition, but I feel it helps to challenge yourself.

I'm sure there will be something more profound going on, but I'm okay with a week that is not so emotionally draining. Thanks for reading, and I always love to hear of any thoughts or questions.