Confessions of an Intern

Week fifteen

This week I have been off my game. Can't really say why, but I am just not myself. I have hit an amotivational stride and don't understand why. Maybe it is the lack of anything productive to do on this rotation, and the feeling that regardless of what effort I do put forth is meaningless. I round on my patients, try to teach the medical students some helpful things and act like I want to participate, but beyond that...nothing.

There have been surgeries, but they are not exciting or they don't happen when I am here. My clinic and educational requirements preclude many of the surgeries that are scheduled. But there is little direction for this rotation, and when I tried to find out in the beginning, I was not given much information. This is what it means to be an adult learner/self-directed learner. I choose what I want to learn. So between reading about blood conservation, iron replacement, Crohn's disease, etc, I have chosen to maximize the down time to give me some much needed R&R.

Also this week, I was once again blessed by the boy who passed away a couple of weeks ago. I have spoken once on the phone to his mother and gotten an email containing a speech he had written talking about his disabilities:

“How my Optimism helps me Overcome Obstacles”

By London

My obstacles are many, but I can overcome them. I am becoming strong and I know God made me for a purpose. I have overcome the biggest obstacles. This obstacle is knowing that I need to become the best me I can become. I am deaf and I can hear with my cochlear implant, but I am learning sign language. It is not easy for me, but I love going to school here at KSD. I had friends at public school, but now I have more friends that do not try to change who I am.

I cannot drive with my seizure disorder, and this frustrates me. Knowing that it would not be safe fro me and others on the street helps me to accept that I will need help from friends and family or, use public transportation. I want to drive, but I cannot change who I am.

I am physically challenged in my walking and balance. But, I will find a way to gain strength to stay on my feet. I will keep walking; I can, with the help of my family and friends. I cannot change who I am.

I am a miracle that God has protected for almost eighteen years. There is a writer named Brian Chalker. Who wrote “People always come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.” I don’t know the reason for my challenges, but it is only a season and I have a lifetime to live it the best I can given who I am.” You see I can’t change me.

I am happy to be here and to have friends and family and teachers. So my obstacles are mine and this is why I am the person I have become and you can not change me.

Thank You!

At the end there, where he talks about people always coming into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime, I get chills. I was blessed beyond all comprehension by the gift of taking care of him and his family. I hope you all cherish the strangers that come into your life and offer a blessing, likely without you even realizing it.