His Island

Chapter 4

"Are you okay?" tanong ni Yvan.

Nangunot ang noo ko. "Yan lang?" taka kong sabi. Sa dami ng pedeng itanong sayang naman yung chance nya. "Sure ka yan lang tanong mo? Sulitin mo na."

He nods. "You said one question," sagot nya.

"Right now? Yes! I'm extra happy! I'm not sure why but I think because It's been a while since I did underwater activities. Namiss ko yung feeling. Pinagbabawalan kase ko," nakangiti kong sabi at mabilis din itong nawala. 

"Pero kung tungkol sa condition ko. Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko. Masaya na malungkot. Masaya kase malaki padin ang chance na maging okay ako, malungkot kase hindi ako pwede makampante at matagal ang paggaling ko," ani ko habang nakayuko at nilalaro ang kamay.

Hindi ko alam kung nakatingin ba sya sakin o sa dagat. Pilit akong ngumiti at nilingon sya. " I'll ask the same question, are you okay?"

He nods again before looking away. "I'm okay now. I have peace of mind because he's not with us anymore. Finally, we're free from him. That's all I want. That's something I really want to do but because I still consider him as my father, I can't do it. It's not easy but it's one of the best decisions we made," He answered.

"How did you find out that you're sick?"

"When we're in a vacation at Maldives, it was all fun not until I experience having seizures. We thought it will happen once but after a week i started having unusual headaches. " tumigil ako sa pagsasalita at huminga ng malalim. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi maluha kapag binabalikan ko ang mga nangyare.

"They took me to the hospital when I passed out. When i woke up they are all silent, ayon pala nalaman na nilang may brain tumor daw ako. I'm speechless, hindi ko matanggap at wala akong masabe. Hindi ko alam paano at sa dami ng tao ako pa. Pero andyan na yon wala na kong magagawa. I just need to trust those doctors and have faith to God," pag kwento ko at hindi namalayang umiiyak na pala ko.

Tinapik nya ang likod ko ng hindi tumitingin sakin para hindi ako mailang. He rub my back to comfort me. I laughed and wipe my tears. "Agh! Sorry. Ba't ba kase naiiyak ako." I tried my best to hold my tears and sit properly.

Suminghot ako bago magtanong. " You said you're traumatized, how did you handle it? Are you mad at your dad?" tanong ko.

He heaved out a heavy sigh. Sobrang bigat non at alam mong may pinaghuhugutan." Wala naman akong choice kundi maging okay. Hindi ko kayang makita ng kapatid at mommy ko na mahina ako. Kailangan kong maging matatag para sa kanila. Hindi pako nakakabangon. Malabo na atang mangyare yon. Hindi iyon basta mawawala. Hindi ko din sya mapapatawad kahit humingi sya ng tawad ng paulit ulit. Hindi ko na sya itinuturing at kinikilalang ama," matalim ang tingin at umiigting ang panga nya bawat mayroon syang salitang binibitawan. Ang kanang kamay ay nakakuyom.

Halatang masama ang loob nya. Sasusunod ko nalang itatanong ang tungkol pa don dahil alam kong mahirap at hindi iyon basta basta lang ikinukwento kung kanino. Nanatili kaming tahimik. Hindi ako nagsalita at hinihintay ko syang kumalma.