His Island

Chapter 32

Umuwi ako sa bahay na maga ang mata. Hindi ako nakatulog at kahit pilitin ko mang kumain ay wala talaga akong gana. 

Every second of that night is still completely clear in my mind. Every word he said stayed and marks at me. The tear that fell in his eyes while saying that I can stop waiting now, is hunting me. 

It hurts that he knows what I feel. It hurts that he knows that I got tired of waiting. It hurts that I didn't hear his reason before we end everything. It hurts that I wait for nothing and when he got back, he didn't fight for me. 

When he get back, he really ended our relationship that I've been treasuring for a year, in the whole time of my chemo. Actually, he didn't come back, we just bump into each other.

I'm not mad at him. It's just that... the puzzle is missing its pieces. I'm clueless about what happened to him, and why he left me so easily.

There are so many unanswered questions that he needs to explain because I can't accept that I didn't know why our relationship ended. Why does our almost perfect relationship fade in just a snap? 

What if...if he just told me the reason why he needs to leave for a very long time? If he just told me the reason that night?

Maybe I will still understand his side. Maybe we're still together. Maybe I didn't get tired of waiting. But who knows? He's the only person who can answer my questions but then, It looks like I would never hear that.

Hindi ako nakakapagfocus sa training pero buti nalang ay lagi akong sinasalo ni Anika. I never see him again after that heartbreaking night. He's not in the meetings anymore. They say he's busy but I feel like it's because of me. Maybe he knows that we can see each other but he avoids it because...of me. 

Malapit na matapos ang pagiistay namin ni Anika at kasabay noon ang pagtapos ng unang project namin. Napunta lahat ng oras ko doon at gusto ko na laging may ginagawa para makalimutan ang mga tanong na bumanbagabag sakin.

Tomorrow is our big day. Halos tapos na iyong billboard pero nandito lang kaming dalawa ni Anika sa condo ko at umiinom. We're suppose to celebrate but I have no energy for that. I feel bad for her. I shouldn't be acting like this. Nadadamay pa sya sa lungkot at sa mga problema ko.

I forced a smile. "Anika, what're your plans this Christmas?"

She smiled. "Family lang. Konting salo salo. Ganon lang samin. Bongga kase sa inyong mayayaman e." She chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Wala naman masyadong pagkakaiba. You know...programs, exchange gifts, games and eat together with your family. Diba? Ganon lang din."

She nods but laughs after. I raised my brows. Anong iniisip ng babaeng to?

She shook her head. "Ang fair lang sa pasko ay walang mayaman o mahirap. Kahit mahirap ka o kahit ikaw ang pinakamayaman sa mundo...kahit sino pwedeng maging malamig ang pasko."