There's Fire

I'm the Bad Guy

Drew's POV

            I woke up and saw my mom cooking in the kitchen. I ran in and hugged her. She laughed and handed me the spatula with icing on it from the cinnamon rolls she made. She motioned for me to be quiet, because she didn't want me waking up my brother and sisters. I love my mom so much. She was always a good mom even when she and daddy fought. My dad was big and tough, but my mom was tougher. "My big boy I have something to tell you. It's a really big secret. Guess what." She smiled.
    "You're having another baby?" hugged her belly.
    "How'd you guess?" She faked a confused look.
    "I heard dad yelling at you. Why was he mad? It's another baby. I can have another brother."
    "Well honey, I don't know. Sometimes your dad is just angry." She sighed.
    "What's a whore?" I sat on a stool.
    "Where did you hear that?" I she sat beside me.
    "I heard dad call you a whore. What is it?" Dad always said bad words
    "Well whore is a very mean word to call a woman. You never call a woman that okay? You treat all women with kindness and chivalry do you understand Drew?"
    "Yes ma'am. Is dad a mean man?" I asked.
    "Does he treat you and your siblings fair?" She propped her head on her hand.
    "I guess."
    "Then no he is not a mean man." She smiled.
    "I hear you crying sometimes. Does he make you cry mommy?" I hugged her.
    "One day my sunshine you will have a wife and when you do you love her with everything in you. You love her like she is your most favorite girl in the world okay?"
    "But you're my favorite girl in the world." I looked up at her.
    "Now I am, but one day another woman will take my place and that is okay, just how you and Connor are my favorite boys." She kissed my head.
    "You love us more than dad?" I smiled.
    "Oh by a long shot. Now my sunshine, go wake your siblings. We have a very exciting day ahead of us." She winks.
    "Mom."
    "Yes honey?"
    "The baby, if it's a boy can we name it after Papa? I like Papa's name. It's strong like him."
    "Atticus Lee?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Well I'll keep that in mind, now go! You guys have school." She rushed me out and I smiled at her. That day she was happier than she had been and was excited for some reason. Rose's baby sitter came to get her. Mom was excited when she dropped us off at school and was in a good mood. By the time we got out though everything changed. First Rose went missing and then my mom went missing for months. In the time she was gone our dad took over and would call her all things under the sun. My dad taught Connor and I to hate her. When she finally got back all she could do was cry about Atticus. She didn't call me her sunshine anymore. She didn't smile for a long time and when she saw Connor and me she looked at us different. She fucked up. She left us and my dad, although cruel, was the parent that stayed. By the time mom started smiling once Tom came in the picture and she started a new family with him leaving Conner, dad, and I behind while our dad shoved his hatred of her into us. Before I knew it I felt it coursing through my veins as well.

            I sat in my car outside of my younger sister's apartment complex. I was nowhere near close to my younger siblings. They were practically strangers to me. When I moved in with my mom as a teenager she was already born and a small kid. The triplets were even smaller and the youngest was born after I had my own kid. I got out of my car and went to wait by the front door for her when I saw her walk up the sidewalk talking on the phone. She looked at me and put her phone away. "Twice in a year, this is crazy." She walked around me and let herself in.
    "You have a live in boyfriend?" I went to follow her in, but she stopped me.
    "What do you want Drew?" She sounded bored of me already.
    "I want to talk." I leaned on the doorway.
    "You lost that option years ago. Nice chat Drew." She motioned to the door.
    "Mahogany." She slammed the door in my face. I mean I got it. I left the house when she was a kid and never so much as interacted with her when I did live with them. She may be my sister genetically, but we were strangers in every other sense. I knocked again. She ignored me. I knocked some more. "Mahogany, please." I listened to the door nothing. "Mahogany, did Conner molest or rape you as a kid?" I asked. The door flew open and she was fuming. I threw my hands up in surrender. "Get in here." She growled.
    "I just need to know." I pleaded.
    "Why? You didn't care then. Why would you care now?" She laughed dryly.
    "Why didn't you say anything?" We may have been perfect strangers, but she was my sister.
    "Who was I going to tell? From the time you two moved in until you left it was a fucking war zone in the house. Mom was blind to anything you two did. Dad was always the bad guy no matter what he did! Tegan always had to somehow keep the peace! He was never interested in Cannon and Bishop wasn't even born! I had to protect Constance and Cadence, so yes your sick ass brother did unspeakable things to me. I took that shit so my little sisters didn't have to. It stopped once he left." I was disgusted. If I knew I would have done my best to protect them, regardless if I liked their dad or not, they were my siblings. She was my little sister and I couldn't protect her because I was too blinded by my hate for my mother. "You come knocking now. You have a daughter huh? I see you have a gun. It's none of my business. If he's doing to her what he did to me, you better hope she never gets her hands on it. She's either going to kill him or herself. Maybe both." She took a bottle of alcohol out of the cabinet and drunk from it. "If she has dolls look at them. The state of her dolls is the state of how she feels about herself. Now leave." She drunk some more.
    "Mahogany, I swear I didn't know. If I did..."
    "What would you have done please tell me. The day you turned 18 you were out of the door so fast you might as well slapped her in the face. Don't play the remorseful brother and son now. It's too late. Shit Bishop's first time seeing the two of you was on her birthday. You're a stranger. We don't know you and at this point don't want to. If you're just coming around to hurt mom then stay away. We are doing perfectly fine without you and your rapist child predator of a brother." She put the bottle back in the cabinet.
    "Mahogany, it was never about you, any of you for that matter." I admitted.
   "I remember one night he snuck in my room while you and dad were going at it and Tegan and mom were trying to stop you. He came in it was the first time he actually you know decided I want to go all the way. He covered my mouth and kept saying sorry it won't hurt for long. He finished and left the room. Good thing I hadn't got my period yet. The house got quiet. You know my room was next to yours. I guess you heard me crying that night. You came and peeked in my room while I sat sobbing in the corner of it. For a split second I thought you were like him, but instead you looked at me like I was just some kid crying and said sorry for scaring you go to sleep and left. I thought for a single moment that my big brother was going to protect me and make sure that it never happened again. That you would tell mom something was wrong and that I was sad. You didn't though you were out the house the next week. You didn't look back. I held out until that night that you'd try to be a good brother, but hey I was just a stupid kid right. That's what you called me when you first moved in, well all of us just his stupid kids. I mean I get it you hated my dad, but damn we share a mom. Most of us look just like her. You know I wonder if Atticus would have been a better big brother. Would he have stopped Conner? Would he have told mom and dad? Would he have been everything you weren't? It's nice to think there's a big brother out there for me that could be better than you." She looked out the window.
    "Shut up Mahogany, Atticus is not our brother." I snapped and stood in front of her.
    "Well you're not my brother either. I'd rather have faith in one that might be dead for all I know than one who couldn't give to fucks about us." She said blandly. "You can lock the door on your way out. I'm done. You have 2 minutes to leave or I will call the police." She walked down a hall and slammed the door. I looked around her living room once more. There was a picture of all of my siblings and our mom you could tell every one of their personalities. There were four of us missing of course though, but they all looked happy. I felt like I was on the outside of them. It felt excluded.