There's Fire

Third Time Not The Charm

Janae's POV

            It had been two months since seeing him and all I know is he had gone on a rampage. In that time I had to make excuses to where he was. Eva and Adrian asked about him every day and there was nothing I could tell them. What broke my heart was Adrian planted herself on the porch waiting for him from the time she woke up until dinner. She sat out the no matter the weather and it broke my heart. There was nothing I could do. I would sit outside with her and Alessia. Eva was upset and kept asking for her daddy and all I could tell our two year old was that her daddy would be back later. Every time I would say this she would become distraught and have a meltdown for no less than an hour. For the first week it wouldn't end until she made herself physically sick, but as the days went on she would just cry herself to sleep. Either way her poor voice remained hoarse for a significant amount of time. Tati would ask for her Baba and just mope around when I told her the same thing I told Eva. It got to the point where she'd hear her sister hysterically crying she would just cry and ask for her dad. The first time I had to call Val and tell him what was going one I felt like a failure. I was woken up at 6 am to Adrian going outside to sit on the porch with her blanket and cereal like she had for two weeks. Alessia showed up at 7 and was with Adrian. Eva and Tati woke up when Adrian did. I decided to try to feed them and it was going okay until Eva asked the question she did every morning. "Where Daddy?" She looked up from her pancakes.

   "Daddy is not home cupcake." I sighed.

   "Daddy." Her big green eyes filled with tears and they overflowed down her cheeks. Her face started turning red as her soft cries turned into full on hysterics. I scooped her out of her highchair just as she started coughing and dry heaving. I cradled her to my chest. I heard her gag and turned her around because I knew she was crying herself sick. She threw up over my arm onto the floor. That caused me to dry heave myself, but I had to push my urge to throw up deep down until later. As usual after throwing up and continuous dry heaving she dulled her hysteria to a sob. "Mommy." Tati was crying quietly while I tended to her sister. "Yes honeybun?" I asked looked at her.

   "I wan daddy." Her little lip stuck out.

   "Are you sad Baba is not home?" I asked and she nodded. "Can mommy make you feel better?" She shook her head no. "Only daddy?" I asked and she nodded. I sigh and got up with a crying Eva still on my hip. I grabbed Tati out of her high chair and took them to my bathroom to give them their bath. I went and got them in the tub. They both calmed down with the help of the warm water and soft music. Once I was able to get them to sit and watch a movie I called Val and that broke me. On top of that this pregnancy I've been super sick, but managing to tip toe the line of bed rest. I couldn't sleep to save my life so once I made sure that each of our daughters was asleep I planted myself on the couch. I might get an hour or two of shut eye. Never more sadly no matter how hard had I tried. I was sitting up in the living room late as usual just watching TV. I was covered with a blanket feeling tired. I heard the front door open and shut softly. I looked up and was surprised to see him walk in. He looked a tremendously calmer than from the last I seen him. In all of time he was gone. I was worried about him, the girls, our family, Angie, this pregnancy, all of it. Not once did I realize that I missed him and his presence more than anything. I wanted to cry and hug him, but I figured if it was best that I didn't. I know how he felt about touching when angry and from where I stood I could not tell if he was still angry with me. "Hi." He finally broke our silence.

   "Hi." I said back.

   "You should, um, be in bed it's late." I honestly paid no mind to the time.

   "I can't sleep." I shrugged off.

   "I'm sorry." We said in unison.

   "Why are you sorry?" He asked taken aback.