There's Fire

Flashback to Better Days

Janae's POV

            I sent everyone home. I wanted to be alone, and they gave into my desires. I was alone for the first time in 3 days, and I just wanted to cry. There was nothing I could do for my babies, and I was supposed to be resting and healing, but my babies were hooked up to all of these machines. I needed to be with my babies. A sob escaped my mouth and I tried to muffle it not to alert my nurses. I just held my head down because I failed the twins. I failed them and couldn't protect them. Roman was right. I started that argument because I regretted what I did. He was right. I just keep fighting. He didn't deserve to be stressed now too. I knew why he was asking. I would never leave with the kids. I just needed to blame him. I needed him to feel bad. I needed him to feel what I had been feeling. I felt someone gently hold me. "Let it out baby. It's okay to cry." He spoke softly and I did. I just cried into him for a while. I looked up and he wiped my face. "What do you need? How can I help you?" He tilted my head to look up at him.

   "I want to see them again, but the doctor said I need to rest and can't be moving too much."

   "I'm working on getting the floor set up so you three will get transferred, so you can be with them more." She rubbed my back. I nodded and just looked up at him. "What do you want right now?"

   "I can't shower because of the drain." I whimpered.

   "Okay, I think that should be out in the next few days." He looked at it.

   "Do I stink?"

   "No." He stood behind me and started brushing my hair.

   "Be honest."

   "Really baby you do not stink. You have no smell. Are you hurting?"

   "I'm sore."

   "Your nurse said you have some meds about 30 minutes ago, so they should start kicking in." I could feel him parting my hair. At some point he taught himself how to braid. He had wanted to do more that pig tails on the girls. "We can see them now; do you want to see them? Would that make you feel better?" He asked as he slowly did my hair.

   "Yeah." He finished my hair then went to grab a wheelchair. He came back and did what he usually did he's taken me to see the babies. He would bundle me up and take me down there. It wasn't long until we got there to see Gianni watching the nurse change them. "I was just about to call you. The nurse was saying it might be a good idea to do skin to skin." He grinned.

   "Hold them? Yes." I got excited.

   "I'll be back with food a little later yeah?" Gianni smiled. He kissed my head and Roman's temple. My nurse walked in and smiled, I guess the nurses here called and said I was here. I sat and got comfortable. "How do you want to do this mom and dad? Skin to skin is always beneficial." She smiled and looked in between us.

   "Mom will get to hold them both first." He said without hesitating.

   "Well I will get you baby girl first. She is wide awake over here ready to see mommy and daddy." The nurse picked her up and carefully placed her in my arms. There were wires and she was so tiny. Her skin was warm and soft. I held her little hand and it closed around my thumb. We were finally having skin to skin. I got emotional because I with my other two I got to hold them immediately and I waited so long for this. She opened her eyes and looked around. A sob racked my body and tears poured. "Woah." Roman's voice cracked.

   "Hello, our little Robyn Milan Victoria Marchetti. It is so nice to finally meet you my love." I kissed her head. I held her for about 30 minutes and finally decided to let Roman hold her. He held her and whispered to her in Italian. I didn't know when he took his shirt off, but she looked cozy on his chest. I loved this about him. He looked amazed at the green eyes our daughter stare back at him with. He is such a good father and pours his all into our children. Roman looked up and watched as the nurse brought our boy to me. She set him in my arms and excused herself out so we could have this moment alone. He was sleeping peacefully as he did when I usually saw him. "Oh come on can you wake up for mommy. Are you going to be a night owl like daddy? Uncle Gianni and daddy tell me you're up at night just give me 30 minutes." I spoke with him. I could see him waking up. He struggled to open his eyes. More sobs escaped and I closed my eyes for a second to pull myself together. He's perfect. "Hi my sweet boy. We've waited so long for you. You have no idea. You my sweet boy, have many sisters ready to meet you." I chuckled and stroked his little cheek. His sweet brown eyes drowsily look at me. I figured we have a sleepy baby on our hands. "What name did you decide?" Roman whispered.