Upon Meeting You

12

Sorry it's been a while! I've been very busy and I'm going to have a softball game tomorrow so I won't be able to post tomorrow either but I'll try to be more productive I promise!

This was all supposed to be fun. The teasing, the flirting, the fucking. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. What the hell did I get myself into with him?

I hated him. I hate him. Hated.

He hates me. Doing this— whatever the fuck this is to myself would be almost inhumane. Look at what happened with Dolion. I let him in and what did he do?

He put up this fake facade for years! He let me believe he was someone who he wasn't. And now— there's him. As much as I'd like to like him, I can't. I can't do this again.

I am not going to give myself a sense of false hope, thinking that this man who has hated me for years would suddenly change his mind about me as I fear I might  be doing with him.

I don't know where this all came from. All of these confusing emotions— I hate him. I want to... although I'm not certain I do. Not anymore at least.

He's an asshole. He's my go to when I feel like being a bitch and I'm his go to when he feels like being a dick.

Not to mention his age! God— what would my parents think? Fuck that. What would my dad think? He's what? 17 years older than I am?

He didn't really look the part— but that's not the point.

I can't do this. Not with him. Relationships are hard and they take work. I'm not going to risk putting my heart out on the line for something so risky. For someone that didn't even give me a second look before I put out.

And now he's my boss. I just keep making this situation worse for myself. Look at how bad I'm going to look now.

No. I'm not going to do this to myself. Yet— looking at him now. Standing in front of me, with his messy hair and his disheveled clothes... he looks absolutely perfect.

He had an attitude, yes, and he was awfully rude. But in all fairness that's what I enjoyed most about him. I could say anything I wanted to him and instead of getting mad or storming off, he'd shoot something right back.

He's one of the only people who doesn't take everything I say so seriously and he hardly allows me to get under his skin.

I have no doubt in my mind that my words and actions affect him. I have no doubt that I succeed in acting as a pain to him. It was the whole point. But he still sticks around. He still jokes and mildly insults me and allows me to do the same back.

I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. But despite everything, it would be wrong of me to pursue whatever this is any further.

"This can't happen again, Mr. Daine." he looks taken aback for a second.

"Ye— No of course not." he agrees, straightening his clothes out. The light from his face has completely vanished and he's back to his normal Wilhelm. I feel a pool of what I believe to be unnecessary guilt flood my mind. "I should probably—" he motions towards the front door.

"Yeah, no... of course. I'll walk you out." I say leading him from the room. "Wilhelm?"

"Hm?" his face hardens once again at the use of his full first name.

"I never really got the chance to thank you for everything so—"

"Oh that was just your way of thanking me?" He smirks, raising a brow.