The Struggle of Ms. Carter (rewritten)

Chapter 27~

So it's been a couple of weeks now and let me just say this. Had it not been for the fact that I need to take these classes in order to graduate, I would not still be attending.
I haven't spoken to Sydney in almost three weeks and I can't believe it's having this much of an affect on me. Like sure I realize she has no real obligation to talk to me but just cutting me off? It's just too much for me. I'm not even angry, just..confused I guess ? I don't know.

Sydney's p. O. v.
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I haven't engaged with Payton in two weeks and I want to make it clear to her that it's not on purpose but, what am I going to say. It's not like we have any time to talk anymore. She probably hasn't even noticed and this is just me overthinking.
You know what it doesn't even matter, I'm overthinking it and I need to get dressed.
I stretched and pulled a black and dark grey, plaid, pencil skirt out with a blush pink blouse that wrapped and tied around my waist. Not even gonna lie, I looked good today.
I didn't really feel like wearing difficult shoes but I sucked it up anyway and put on some with a chunky heel in the same color as my shirt. They have pretty, long, satin, straps that I can tie into bows. Which doesn't make me feel any better but at least I look pretty (hot, pretty hot).
I finished getting ready and headed out with my tea right on time. By the time I got to the school the students were to be coming in around 30-40 minutes. Which luckily for me, leaves me time to finish unpacking a new set of books.
When I got in the halls were quiet as usual but thankfully much warmer than the chill settling in outside. I still had to change the thermostat in my classroom though. Because as we're in the middle of October AND in Seattle it's more than freezing. It's wet and freezing, and I won't torture my students any more than their other teachers.
After all I'm supposed to be the nice one. Or something like that.

Payton's P. o. V.
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I shivered sitting in my car waiting for Bailey to come out and turned up the heat again. I wanted to be early today so I could talk to Sydney but as long as he's taking that might not happen.
I licked my lips and sipped my coffee just as he got in. Letting in the chill might I add.
"You ready now?"

"Yeah, mom was just telling me how she was thinking of taking a trip. Her and dad, maybe next week. But they'll probably be back in time for your birthday." He explained as I started driving.

"I mean it's not like I'm doing anything for my birthday anyway."

"I still don't understand that, I mean you're turning 19 and you won't even throw a party or anything. Not even with your family."

"Listen, don't get me wrong because I truly do love my family. But the last thing I want to do is go all the way there just for a day. Besides you know I don't like all that social type stuff all the time. I've been to enough parties in the past few weeks."

"Payton you know I love you, but we need to get you out more." We stopped at a red light and I looked over at him for a moment.

"More than what??"

"Well more than you've been already. It's our senior year. We should be going to ragers, not 'social gatherings'."

"We'll maybe you should throw one. THEN I'd probably go." I shrugged casually, hoping he wouldn't take my idea literally. But he jumped up and down in his seat and I instantly regretted even opening my mouth.

"Payton you're a genius!!! My parents won't even be home next week. Oh my gosh it's gonna be so much fun. We're gonna need cups and booze and probably a Dj"—
At that point I just tuned his rant out as we pulled into the school. I waved him off once we got in and started toward her classroom, hoping she'd be in on time today.
The students were scarce because it was still pretty early and I just tried to avoid them, not feeling up to talking to anyone else.
When I got to her classroom the door was partially open and she was kind of pacing around the room, rearranging things. She hadn't noticed me come in until I shut the door and stopped when she did see me. Giving half a smile I breathed her in.
"Oh, hey Payton what's up ?" Still pacing around and putting things in different places on the bookshelf. At this moment in time I felt like I could just listen to her talk for hours.

"Nothing really—ahem—just thought I'd come and talk to you for a bit. We got here a little early."

"Oh ok." She flashed a bright false smile and went over to the bookshelf again to find something.
I moved from leaning on the door to behind her as I sat on a desk.
To be honest I didn't really know what to say to her, I barely know why I came here in the first place.
Sydney turned around and looked at me after I didn't say anything for a while—and I mean really looked at me.
"What are you doing here Payton? I mean not that I mind, I'm just a little confused. Why aren't you angry or sad or I don't know, something. Anything. Why can't you show your emotions like other people. I need to know if you're mad at me or not and I can't do that if you won't let me se"—

"Why the hell would I be angry with you?"
She shifted onto her hip and placed her hands there.

"Well I don't know." I couldn't do anything but look at her like she was crazy.

"You think I'm upset with you because you haven't spoken to me in two weeks ?" It was more of a statement but she nodded her head anyway.

"I'm not mad at you. Ok? I'm just a little confused myself. I mean were you mad at me?"

"Oh no no I'm not I just didn't really know what to say to you."

"What do you mean?" She backed away from me and toward the window.
I suppose I do sort of know what she means but I don't really want to.

"I mean—you are my student. I am an adult and I shouldn't be getting this close to you." Starting to pace, panicking in her own head.
"I think you have to go, I'm sorry you have to go"— she cut her sentence off short and started to push me toward the door. I could tell it wasn't the time to try and talk everything out with her so I didn't try to argue—much.

"Hey stop. Just for a second and listen to me." She took her hands off me just as we got to the door and took a few steps back.

"I'm listening."

"We haven't done anything but talk to each other, and I don't know what you think we did wrong but whatever it is I'm sure it was probably a misunderstanding. Right?" She started to catch on and I could see her chill out the slightest bit.

"Yeah..yeah right. Nothing happened between us and if it had I'm sure it would've stopped right there and then." I nodded slowly.

"Exactly. Now I think I'll leave you to your scheduling Ms. Carter, I'll see you." Her face frowned up, playfully, at her formal name but she changed it up quickly and smiled, nodding as a response.
I turned and looked back at her once again as I closed the door behind me.
Why me.

Ms. Carter's p. O. v.
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She closed the door behind her as she left and I placed my hand on it, my head nearly falling off my shoulders.
I feel dumb.
That's all...
....that's it. Goodbye.