Married Life - Through ups & downs

8. Guilt

When I'm about to enter our room, I hear Poyraz calling my name to prevent me to enter.

- Wait, wait ! He shout.

I stay freeze, my hand on the handle until he comes to me.

- I have a surprise. He announce. Come here.

He turn me around, place my back against his chest and one of his hand on my eyes. I hear him open the door and he push me to enter.

- What is the occasion ? I ask.

- Nothing... Well, that's not entirely true. Take it as an excuse for my harsh reaction yesterday, it wasn't right.

- I told you, it's okay.

- Yes but I wanted to do it.

When he takes his hand away, I see all kind of photos on the wall, in different size. Pictures of us, mostly took during our honeymoon, but also with our friends.

- You developped them.

- Yes, this morning.

- It's beautiful.

- I love you.

- Love you too.

- And...

He guides me to the bed and just above is a large photo of us on our wedding day.

- I know we are not going to live there forever but we can fill in the few holes when we move, it's not much. He explains.

- No problem. I assure. Thanks, Poyraz, I love it.

He wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck as he kisses me tenderly.

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I have been sitting on a deckchair for almost an hour, a book in my hands, when I hear someone approaching. I look up from my book to find my mother who comes to sit on the deckchair next to me. I hold back a sigh, already suspecting what I'm about to face. Her gruff, angry look doesn't bode well either.

- Mom. I salute her.

- You haven't even tried to talk to me since you got back. And I have been patient.

- You were pretty clear in your messages, you didn't want me to do that.

- You could at least have tried.

- What do you want mom ? This time I sigh.

- I worry about you.

- Here we go again... You mean, about my marriage ?

- If we can call it like that, yes.

- It is, mom, I'm married. Legally married.

- A marriage without parents blessings or presence isn't a real marriage.

- What you think doesn't change the legal aspect of my marriage. Something else ?

- You deserve so much better than a miserable life on this island.

- But not you ? Because, just to remind you, you've gotten married to an island' man and you live here now.

- I've reached my dreams, I've lived what I had to.

- So you mean your life is behind you ? I reply.

- Don't take your cheeky tone with me, Haziran. She warns me.

- I'll everytime you'll come to me about my marriage. It doesn't concerns you.

- Your my daughter.

- I know that. That's exactly why it annoys me that you can't rejoice in my happiness. But that won't stop me from being happy and enjoying my life, which includes my marriage and my husband.

- Haziran...

- Mom, I don't want us to fight again so this topic is closed.

- You can't decide to...

- Or you can leave. I interrupt her, my eyes straight in hers.

- The day you realize the mistake you made, don't come and cry to me.

- We both know very well that it's not to you that I would come to cry or to have comfort. I never even did. I instantly retort.

She gives me a look of deep disappointment before getting up to leave.

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POV Poyraz

I discuss with Burak about the orders which need to be done when Zeynep enters the hotel lobby. She gives me a cold look, asking if we can talk. I exchange a look with Burak, silently telling him that he can leave us and he gets up from the couch to leave. Zeynep comes to sit in his place but as far as possible from me.

- What can I do for you, Zeynep ?

- I would like to talk.

- With pleasure. I really want for us to get along better.

- We won't.

- Okay... So ?

- You know what I think about my daughter staying on this island for the rest of her life ? I think it will ruin her life. Especially since it will be impossible for her to achieve her dreams by staying here. But it didn't matter to you when you married her, didn't it ? You didn't even think about it. That's the number one reason we won't ever get along you and me.

- She wanted to get married as much as me, I didn't forced her to do anything and...

- She thinks she loves you. And maybe she does. She admits. But a day will come when she will realize beside all that she has passed. It will be too late to realize her dreams by then and then the love she has for you will be slowly replaced by hatred and resentment because you are the only reason for her presence here.

- That's all ? I ask, my throat tied.

- No...

She looks down, a tear rolling silently down her cheek. I remain shocked for a few seconds. I would never have believed Zeynep capable of crying.

- You know, Haziran is my only daughter and moms have... Mothers have big dreams for their daughters. And not to mention her professional future, there are some important stages in the life that a mother wants to live with her daughter. Her marriage is one of them. I always believed that we would live all that together... The day when someone would come to ask me for her hand. The preparation of her wedding that we would do together, from the decoration to the choice of her dress. Be by her side when she would say yes. But you deprived me of all that. You did things in a terrible way... And for that either, I could never forgive you.

New tears stream down her face, she wipe them away, sniffing, before getting on her feet and leaves. I stand still for a moment, lost in thought, drowning in growing guilt.

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Sorry for the long wait, I didn't have much time. This chapter is shorter than usual but the next one is almost ready so I won't be long to post it.

I don't want to frightened you but... you should be afraid for the next one. I won't say more...