Chasing Time (sirius black)

HOLD ON

My eyes started sliding shut again as Professor Flitwick droned on. It was the most boring class and the hardest to stay awake in, even if I really did need to learn more spells. The potion I'd taken a month ago had sort of downloaded spells into my brain and it was like I'd known them my whole life which if we're getting technical, I did but I'd never used magic until I arrived here.

Dumbledore had said I was the one who came up with the potion too. Now that seemed like a complete lie especially since I'd almost blown myself up in Potions this morning. Again. If it wasn't for Severus, I'd be in pieces right now. He'd done the same thing he had when Sirius had tried to duel him, just gently grabbed my wrist to stop me from pouring the wrong ingredient. It seemed that he was keeping an eye on me during class while he did his own work.

"Powdered dragon hide, not chopped." He'd corrected me quietly. I frowned slightly as he released his grip and I reread the directions. He was right, of course. Subtly, he slid the powdered ingredient closer to me.

"Thanks." He nodded once then continued his work, both of us falling into companionable silence.

Until he started up the conversation again.

"You and Black seemed to be on better terms." His hand stirred his cauldron methodically. Severus kept his eyes on the swirling potion, his voice low, trying to not draw attention to us.

"We are." I answered just as quietly while copying his motions. The counter-clockwise movement was kind of hypnotizing. Blinking, I shook my head then glanced around the room. Everyone was chatting while they stirred.

"I'm surprised you'd forgive him so easily." The disappointment evident in his voice. Raising an eyebrow, I gave him a look. He kept his eyes down though and didn't meet my glance. "With the way he soiled your reputation."

A snort escaped from me and he finally looked over. I couldn't help the smirk on my lips. "Trust me, my reputation is the least of my concerns."

A small frown was on his lips but he stayed silent. Sighing, I tried to explain myself even though I really didn't need to. I wanted Severus to trust me a little bit more and being open with him might be the way to do that. "I have bigger things to worry about. And I know I'm not shagging anything that moves. I'm not saying it's not pissing me off but...Sirius was hurt and lashed out. I can't blame him either. I do the same thing when I'm upset so I understand where he's coming from. I forgave him because he sincerely apologized for it. He can't take back what he did but he's trying to make up for it."

"And you believe him? That he didn't mean to call you a whore?" Severus sneered, his eyes flashing angrily.

"Yes." I replied with no hesitation. His jaw moved, like he was grinding his teeth together. Interesting. He seemed pretty pissed that I would forgive Sirius. "It's hard to explain but it's a - a gut feeling. Like how I believed you when you said I could trust you...for now."

His eyes narrowed slightly and I continued speaking softly, stirring my potion slowly. "We're human, Sev. We make mistakes and Sirius apologized for his. There are things we can never take back but...we try to make them better and try to redeem ourselves. It's when we stop trying to fix our mistakes that we're truly lost. When we give in to that hurt feeling, let the pain and anger take over everything else, when we don't care anymore...that's where the trust ends. Do you still care, Sev?"