Chasing Time (sirius black)

GO YOUR OWN WAY

Professor Quirrell's hands were all over the place today. I thought that him talking about cars was the most excited I'd seen but whew, that didn't even come close to today's subject.

Microwaves.

God lord, this man was obsessed. To be honest, I knew the general mechanics of microwaves but now I could probably take one apart and put it back together as well as an engine. I watched and half listened as the professor explained everything but my mind was no one near this classroom.

The flying lesson yesterday had been a great idea. Yes, I had been scared shitless - and no I would never admit that to Sirius, although for some reason I think he knew it - but I felt better knowing that I had pushed myself to do it. I could live without flying the rest of my life but I would not let Bellatrix get one over on me. Sirius and I had flown for almost two hours and my legs were killing me but in a good way.

The other good thing about yesterday was that I'd managed to convince the professors to let me only come to Dumbledore's office twice a week instead of four times a week. I'd been going almost every night to 'help' them but they were still figuring out how to infuse the sword with the basilisk venom. I hadn't done much except homework and it seemed like a waste of time when I could be with the others or at least trying to get a little extra sleep.

If only.

Last night's nightmare had been the flying one again. Not as awful as the one the night before, the one where Jamie -

I shuddered, thinking of that nightmare.

The nightmare thing was starting to bother me though. Well, it never not bothered me but...why was I having nightmares every night? Back home, I almost never even had dreams I could remember let alone nightmares so why here? Maybe it was the stress of being here or worry over my new family...

But it wasn't just things I knew from the books and movies or things that had happened here. It was more than that. Mainly that little girl who kept appearing in them. She wasn't possible though. She just wasn't.

Even if Sirius and I - no. I wouldn't let it get that far. There was no guarantee that I would stay here, I could go back at any point and never return. To build a relationship like that with Sirius, to have -

I didn't even want to think the word. If it did get that far...I'm not sure I'd be able to live with myself. It would be so incredible selfish to do that to Sirius, to the others, to...her. If she ever did end up existing. Which she wouldn't. Couldn't.

Sirius shifted in his seat and a sharp pain went through my knee as he banged it into the leg of the desk. Hissing in pain, he rubbed the spot and I clenched my hand to stop myself from doing the same.

That was a new problem that I was really confused about.

Maybe I was just around Sirius too much and I started having phantom pains when I saw him injure himself. Kinda like that thing where after a bunch of girls live together for a while, their periods start to sync up and they're all having it at the same time every month. I rubbed my temple in frustration. Just another thing to add to my to do list.

Quirrell finished up and students began packing away their belongings as Sirius turned to me. "Did you want to go back out to the Pitch today?"