forest || minsung

31

minho never slept as peacefully as he did when he was with Jisung. it was as if the war in his head stopped for a moment, as if his mind had found a truce, if only for a little while. but as soon as Jisung was gone, the fighting began again, and minho found himself standing in the middle of the battlefield.

a yell disrupted his train of thoughts. 

'hey minho!'

he stopped walking. 

it had only been a few days since Jisung had asked him what was up between him and emma. he still didn't know how he could possibly have found out about their ... intimacy. 

'good morning, emma.'

the girl next to him was panting from running up to him, so he gave her a moment to catch her breath. for a dancer you would expect better stamina, he noted.

'morning. how is the talent show practice going? you're participating, right?' she seemed genuinely interested.

'yeah. it's going alright, we are nearly finished, i think. but we still require quite some practice.'

emma hummed. 'i see, i see. you'll be fine then!'

minho nodded. 'probably.' he checked his phone for the time, he had class in a minute.

'now, i was wondering if we could practice together again sometime? if you have time, of course.'

ah, there it was. he had seen this coming as soon as he heard her call his name.

he smiled apologetically. 'i don't think we should continue with it.'

emma blinked. 'huh? you fancy someone, then?'

he felt his ears go red. 'yeah, guess so.'

'i don't mind that,' she said. bold move.

'i mind.'

and that was that. she didn't try to convince him otherwise. 'maybe we could actually dance sometime? instead of .. you know.'

minho nodded. 'yeah, of course. i gotta do the whole talent show thing first though, but maybe after that.'

emma nodded and smiled. 'yeah, that's cool. good luck with the performance.'

she headed off.

that was easier than he had expected it to be.

he decided to do some groceries before heading home, getting a frozen pizza for dinner.

when he got home, the house was empty.

he dropped his bag in the hallway and stood there.

he was alone once again.

always alone.

he sighed. there was an easy way to get rid of this.

he called Jisung. of course he did.

'hello?'

'hey, what are you up to?'

'not much,' he said. minho frowned. his voice sounded flat.

'you alright?' he asked.

'yes.'

'wanna practice tonight? i have nothing to do.'

'no, i can't, sorry.'

'when do you have time? the show is next week.'

'i don't know. i'm just tired,' Jisung said.

'oh, okay. i'll see you tomorrow then?'

'see ya.'

he hung up.

what just happened?

had jisung tired of him already?

he didn't sound like his usual self.

yes, he said he was tired, but he didn't sound tired. he sounded fed up, and minho didn't know why.

had he fucked something up?

this slight change in tone caused him to worry beyond control. after about an hour of slight panic, he tried to rationalise.

he texted him. he had to know, even if just to ease his mind.

Jisung

are you upset with me?

Yeah a bit

why

You don't even know?
You have no heart, Minho

oh.

i have no heart.

then why did that hurt?

why does loving you hurt?

he pretended it didn't hurt. he pretended he didn't feel a jab in his chest. he pretended he didn't have a heart. he fulfilled his role perfectly, until he saw him the next day.

he ignored him, eyes averting whenever minho tried to look at him.

their friends had figured out something was going on again, but decided not to comment on it. they would figure it out.

it took another rejection of practice for minho's willpower to crumble.

when he got home, he grabbed his dad's liquor, only to spend his time drinking it while watching cartoons.

he never cried, though. that was the worst.

he knew it was a mistake, but at least he didn't dream that evening. this came with a price, the next morning he felt more dead than alive.

yet he dragged himself up and went to school.

he was running late, standing at his locker when he heard his voice.

'why do you look so terrible?'

minho froze.

'now you're talking to me?'

he showed no emotion. 'i'm only asking.'

'stop messing with me.'

'what? you messed with me,' jisung huffed. minho was glad the corridors were emtpy.

'what are you even talking about?'

'you and emma.'

'what?' he had stopped things with emma, just as he said he would.

'i heard you two in the hallways, making plans for next time.. just after the show even, were you just using me?'

'what? no!' minho understood what had happened. jisung had only heard half of the conversation. he explained the misunderstanding.

'oh.. i'm so sorry,' he said when he had heard it all.

minho blinked, turned around, and started to walk away.

he didn't walk far before jisung grabbed his wrist and turned him around. 'hey, i'm really sorry, okay? i shouldn't have assumed and just asked you about it.'

minho nodded, eyes stuck to the ground.

jisung put a finger under his chin and lifted minho's head to face his own.

'okay?'

'okay,' minho mumbled.

Jisung smiled and pulled him into a hug. minho was still uncomfortable with what had happened, but melted into the hug anyways.

everything was okay between them.

thank god.

yet he couldn't help but think of how little trust jisung had in minho.

but he didn't show it.

he had no heart, after all.