it was silent after jisung left. oh so silent, he didn't dare to breathe. it was suffocating.
fuck.
they broke up.
minho knew it was for the better and that he shouldn't have made jisung suffer this much, but it still hurt so bad.
he couldn't cry. as soon as he would cry, there would be no stopping. and so he took a deep breath, and drowned out his thoughts with music. but the noise couldn't drown out the sinking feeling in his stomach, or the black hole that was slowing developing in his heart.
he didn't go to school the next day. not that he had been going to school any day of that week.
Chan
Shit, I heard what happened
Are you alright?not really
Would you like me to come over?
no it's fine
Alright. I'm just warning you, tomorrow the guys are all coming to visit you regardless of what you tell them
he closed his phone. tomorrow the six of them would visit. probably to see how he was doing. or maybe to beat him up for hurting jisung. both were fine with minho.
them coming tomorrow meant that they would probably be visiting jisung today. or at least hanging out with him. he wasn't sure if he had shown up to school or not.
it kinda hurt that they chose jisung before him, but at this point that was just a dull stab. it didn't hurt as much as it once would have.
not to mention that jisung had got closer to all of them in months, something which minho hadn't managed in years.he would have to keep it together until tomorrow at least. so he forced himself to go through the numb feeling for a little longer.
just a little longer. he was so tired, but he couldn't cry in front of his friends.
tomorrow arrived after what seemed like forever. minho had managed to get up after a while to feed his cats, and ate a little himself as well, but he couldn't keep down much.
the bell at the front door rang soon after. he was basically around the corner, but he stood in the hallway for a few more seconds before actually opening the door.
they were all there, except jisung, of course. the only person he wanted to see, but it was his own fault that he wasn't with them right now.
they all streamed in and gave him a hug.
but as soon as everyone had settled down and asked him the basic questions of how he was holding up, he became invisible. the conversation continued without him.
minho watched as the group, his friends, talked to one another, not bothering to involve him in a conversation. fair enough.
did they blame him for hurting jisung? for dating him when deep down he had known it was a lost cause all along?
yet he was still their friend, somehow. they were socially obligated to show up at least once.
'hey, have you heard of kang daniel?' seungmin approached him.
'yeah.'
'he's performing in the city in about a week, wanna go?'
he nodded slowly. but they both knew it probably wouldn't happen.
he never understood seungmin. he would say he was closest with him apart from chan, but at the same time he didn't seem to care about him at all. not to mention that he was close to jisung as well, and probably hated minho's guts right now.
it was okay. he really appreciated seungmin. he was a good friend.
when they left, the house felt hollow. he felt hollow.
he was truly alone now. the way thing were meant to be.
he thought he had done a good thing, breaking up with jisung.
a day passed.
but good was never good for everyone.
another day passed.
he realised how connected their lives had been. how dependent his life was on jisung's.
he realised that now, when it was too late.
far too late.
another day passed. or two, maybe. with the blinds shut he barely knew anymore. he just hoped he fed the cats every day.
what was the point in living?
jisung was back at school. he had been for a few days. he saw him on felix' instagram story, and in the groupchat asking to hang out.
minho left that groupchat. he just needed some space, he would say when someone asked.
except no one did.
after all these days, the aching didn't stop. it hurt and hurt and hurt and he cried until exhaustion took him out.
even when he passed out he wasn't safe from pain and sorrow, his nightmares haunting him worse than ever.
another few days passed. he could have been dead for days, and no one would know. only chan checked up on him every day or two, but he was busy with his starting career.
he could've been dead for days.
no one would know.maybe he would be better off dead.
he squeezed his eyes shut. the thoughts of death greeted him like an old friend.
but he couldn't turn away, unable to argue against them.
he thought of his mother, waiting for him.
minho touched his wrist. he had failed last time. his father had been home and heard him stumble and fall to the ground.
where had that led him? he had met jisung, and saw a glimpse of a happy future. most important of all, he had had hope.
and look where that got you.
another day passed.
another day passed.
he tried to call jisung.
it went to voicemail.
YOU ARE READING
forest || minsung
Fanfictionwhere the boy of nightmares meets the boy of poetry. l.mh x h.js TW: contains topics such as depression and suicide started: 27-01-2021 ended: 05-06-2023