forest || minsung

44

Jisung was pacing around Felix' room, deep in thought. The Australian was sitting on his bed, staring at him with concern. Seungmin was there too, aimlessly going through a textbook and pretending he wasn't worried about Jisung's behaviour as well.

'Are you gonna talk?' Seungmin eventually asked. 'Or are you just gonna keep pacing and pretend everything is fine?'

'It's.. kinda worrying, Sung,' Felix added.

Jisung stopped pacing. 'I- I don't know what to do.'

'With?'

'Minho..'

Seungmin closed his book harshly. 'What did he do? I'll go to him right now-' he tried to get up, but Jisung pushed him back into his seat.

'Sit down, idiot. He didn't.. do anything bad. Or, well, it is kind of bad but not in a way you think.'

The younger was glowering at him, but crossed his arms and leaned back. He was willing to hear him out.

'It's just.. his behaviour worries me. He's.. Okay you need to promise me you won't tell anyone about this. Top secret, okay?'

Felix and Seungmin looked at each other and nodded. He was serious.

Jisung just had to tell someone, and he knew his two friends wouldn't say anything. Maybe he should have talked to Chan about this instead, since he already knew about Minho's mental health issues and would always be there for him, but Jisung didn't want to worry him just yet.

'Alright, he.. since he missed his audition his mental health has been terrible. I mean, not that it was great before, but it wasn't like this. He drinks a lot and the other day he- he wandered into the forest, at night? Just to feel something and his phone was off and- I don't know what to do.' His voice broke in that final sentence.

Felix and Seungmin were silent. A tear rolled over Jisung's cheek and he angrily wiped it away with his sleeve.

Half way through he realised that they didn't know the whole story. They didn't know that Minho had tried to kill himself before, that it was this serious. And he obviously couldn't tell them either.

His worries must have seemed a little too severe in their eyes, but Jisung was crying and that confirmed that it was bad.

'I don't think there is much you can do besides talking to him about it and being there for him. If you think it's like, really bad, maybe he could go to a professional or something, but... he has to get his shit together himself,' Felix said.

He was right. Jisung could sometimes not even read Minho, let alone give him the help he needs.

'This has been going on for a while, hasn't it? It's wearing you out,' Seungmin noted.

He stared at him, taking a second to evaluate his own mental state. It scared him.

'I- I'm fine.'

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe a word.

'You have to take care of yourself, Sung. You're no use to him if you cannot function yourself.'

Suddenly he remembered something that Chan had told him ages ago, before he and Minho started dating. Don't let him drag you down with him.

He frowned. Minho had been stressed over exams back then, and completely shut down until Jisung came over and helped him.

It was different, he told himself, but Chan's warning stayed at the back of his mind regardless.

He would have to talk to Minho. It couldn't go on like this.

He had promised him he would stop by tonight, but Jisung first had to take some time for himself. When he came home from Felix' place he curled up on his bed and cried until he was so exhausted that he fell asleep.

He was woken up by a rather concerned Yejun, who was hanging over him, a frown on his face. Apparently he had called him for dinner several times. 'Have you been crying?'

He rubbed his eyes. His face must have been giving it away, but Jisung shook his head regardless. 'No.'

'Jee, I must be blind. What's up?' His brother sat down on his bed without invitation, arms folded neatly before him.

'Nothing, I'm just worried about Minho.'

'Why, what's up with him?'

'I.. He- He's not doing well, and I wanna be there for him.' He dragged a hand through his hair. 'But it's so hard. Sometimes I wanna turn off my phone and hide in my room until he feels better, but I can't.'

Yejun was quiet for a while. 'Are you still happy with him?'

He didn't reply.

'I don't like seeing you this way. I don't know what's going on with him, and you don't have to tell me, but I don't like what it does to you. Just because he's feeling bad doesn't mean he can take you down with him.'

Jisung's mouth went dry. Chan's words flashed through his mind again.

'Anyway,' Yejun got up. 'For the third time, dinner is ready. Get your ass to the kitchen.'

Yejun left his room and for a few more seconds, Jisung just sat on his bed. He didn't feel like getting up or eating but he would have to anyways.

'Jisung!?' Yejun yelled threateningly.

He rolled his eyes and jumped off the bed.

At least his brother can cook. He made his favourite dish, which he only ever made to celebrate something. "To keep it special", he had said once.

'What are we celebrating?' Jisung asked suspiciously. Did he forget his birthday again? Wait, what was the date?

Yejun smiled widely. 'Soojung and I are back together.'

Well, that wasn't what he had expected.

Jisung didn't have anything against Soojung, but she broke his brother's heart to go on a journey.

'Oh, I'm happy for you!'

Yet there she was, sitting on their couch later that evening. That was a short journey, then.

She waved at him enthusiastically when she saw him observing them from the doorway. Just like the good old times.

Jisung waved back a little less happy than he normally would. He remembered Yejun sitting on that same couch, staring at the ceiling to avoid crying.

---
It's 3am and I'm very sleepy
Good night