Wild At Heart (Zuko)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kali clutches to her head, fingers in her hair. She has a headache, on top of everything else that hurts. Her shoulder. Her back. Her chest. All of it is on fire. She has no idea what's going on. Everything in her mind is mush. Like boiled broth and her memories are noodles just floating around all tangled together. She can't focus on anything. She can't pick out anything. Jumbled together. She cringes and presses the heel of her hand into her forehead and lets out a harsh breath.

"Kali?" Zuko asks reaching out for her, he touches her good shoulder. She jumps back from him and instantly regrets it. She cries out and curls around her shoulder, biting her tongue to quieten herself. Zuko flops back onto his backside and cringes. He didn't mean to scare her. He didn't mean to hurt her. "I didn't..." He starts but then stops and sighs. He takes a breath and then looks away. "Uncle would like you to join us for some tea," He tells her, she glances at him, confusion still there in her eyes, she still has no idea who he is. He stands and walks away. Leaving her on her own. Her eyes follow him though. There is something about him, but she can't put her finger on it. She lets out a breath and glances down, her eyes skimming over her arms before they snap back. Her gauntlets are gone from her wrists, she turns and looks around the shack, trying to find them. She's not supposed to take them off. Iroh appears in the doorway and she looks at him.

"Raya?" She asks as she pushes herself to her feet.

"No, Raya..." Iroh starts and then sighs. "I bought you from Raya" He offers as he holds out his hand to her. "Remember?" She glances at his hand and then away. Something about that sounds right, but she can't wrap her head around that fact.

"Right" She whispers, just accepting it for now, till she figures this out. "Where are my gauntlets?"

"You took them off" He answers.

"I took them off?" She asks him as she follows him. He hums and nods as he leads her to where Zuko is already sitting in front of a small fire where a teapot sits. "Did you say I could take them off?" Iroh looks at her.

"Yes" He assures her, Zuko gives him a look. He's lying. Kali being free, took them off herself, her own choice. But Iroh knows that right now, she needs to know that everything that is going on is fine and because she was told to do it. If she's gone back to being the person she was before they met then she is looking to be more comfortable following orders from her owner. "Sit" Iroh offers, motioning to the fire. Kali lets out a breath and takes the space opposite Zuko who keeps his eyes from her. He can't look at her right now, not when she's not looking at him with the same eyes. They seem so lifeless now. And he can't look at her. Iroh sits between them both and shakes his head to himself. Stubborn boy isn't going to help her by shutting down."Lightning is a pure expression of fire-bending, without aggression" Iroh explains. Kali frowns a little, not really understanding the conversation, but she keeps quiet. "It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other fire-bending is. Some call lightning the cold-blooded fire" Iroh takes the tea kettle off the fire and pours it into another pot. He then begins to pour three cups, one for each of them. "It is precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind" Iroh hands a cup to Zuko.

"I see" Zuko whispers as Iroh hands Kali a cup. "That's why we're drinking tea: To calm the mind" Iroh pauses and then nods.

"Oh yeah, good point! I mean, yes" He agrees and glances at Kali who is smirking down at her tea, amused, which proves that their Kali is in there somewhere. She still finds him amusing at least.

......

Later, Kali is nowhere to be seen as Zuko and Iroh stand on the edge of a hill overlooking the valley with a walled, abandoned city at the bottom. The shack standing behind them.

"There is energy all around us" Iroh informs Zuko. "The energy is both yin and yang; positive energy and negative energy" Iroh holds up one finger on each hand to stand for the two forms of energy. "Only a select few fire-benders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and in a moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together" He brings his hands together to illustrate the point. "You provide release and guidance, creating lightning" Iroh holds out a hand, signalling for Zuko to step back. He holds his right hand to his side and with two fingers extended begins to create lightning by rotating his arm in a circular motion around his body. He mimics the motion with his left arm. Zuko watches on, impressed. Iroh brings his two hands together and then lunges forward with his right hand extended and shoots lightning into the distance.

"I'm ready to try it!"

"Remember, once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide. Breathe first" Zuko breathes in and closes his eyes. He then begins to mimic the motions that Iroh performed, except that he does not create traces of lightning. Cut to a close up of Iroh for a moment, then back to Zuko. He shouts and shoves his right hand forward, but it merely causes a fiery explosion that shoves him backwards. He falls on his back next to Iroh. Iroh shakes his head slightly.

..........

Kali rests inside the shack, sleeping on the bedroll, just going outside and sitting and having tea was exhausting for her. She tosses and turns, which jars her shoulder, aches, but she doesn't wake. It just sends her subconscious into memory lane, or dark memory lane as it flings dark images at her, trying to remind her what happened to her with Azula. She bolts awake, lightning flickering in her eyes. Sitting upright she curls around herself as she tries to calm down, her heart hammering away in her chest. Whatever that was, wasn't a good memory. It was painful. And recent. She thinks it has something to do with her shoulder and she's right, of course. She pulls open the tie of her dress, letting it droop away from her shoulders, letting it fall down around her waist. Using her good arm she peels away the bandages, pulling them from her. There are marks across her skin, scars. She drops the bandage and raises her hand. She traces the light green markings across her chest, a few shades lighter than the rest of her skin. The scar looks like leaves. Which isn't too bad. It's not ugly. It could definitely be worse. She looks up and lets out a breath, catching sight of Zuko who is standing behind her. She gasps and pulls her dress back across her chest, keeping her head down.

"Are you okay?" Zuko asks her, she nods. He takes a breath and moves towards her, can see the scar on her shoulder. The mark left behind by Azula. He sits behind her, setting his legs on either side of her. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really" She answers as he pulls the back of her dress down to look at the scar on her back. The feathering stretches over her shoulder and down the back of her arm, all the way down to her elbow. "Aches inside" She whispers. He nods a little as he touches it and she leans forward but doesn't flee him. He hates that this happened. Blames himself for it. He was the one that told her to come with him, he is the reason that she found him. He presses his hand to her back, can feel her heart beating through it. He can't get anything right. She got hurt because of him. He won't be able to forgive himself for that. And the memories. If she never gets those back, he'll blame himself for that too.