The Ruins of Winter

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Hindi ako makahinga.

I am suffocated. Pilit kong hinahabol ang bawat paghinga. It hurts not being able to breathe. Namamanhid ang buo kong katawan. Madilim ang paligid. I can see a faint light but I'm sure that it's far from where I am lying down. Madilim lang talaga... at natatakot ako. Am I dying? Am I dying here? I don't know this place. I don't know where I am.

I sighed again, muli kong hinahabol ang hininga.

"Daenerys!" a familiar voice called. I moved my hand, pinching my palm with my own fingernails, "Erys!"

Hindi ako makahinga.

"Erys!" he called me again, "Wake up!"

I opened my eyes. The first person I saw is Juan Luis. Hinihingal ako at dama ang luha sa pisngi. His eyes looks concerned and worry. Tinulungan ako ni Juan Luis na umupo sa kama. Hinahabol ko pa rin ang aking hininga. I sighed. JL stood up from the bed and went out, agad rin siyang bumalik bitbit ang isang baso ng tubig.

Why? Why is it back?

"Inom ka..." He handed me the water. Naka-uniform si Juan Luis at mukhang papasok pa lang sa school. Kinuha ko ang baso mula sa kamay niya at agad na uminom. Hinihingal pa rin ngunit unti-unti na umayos ang paghinga. Once my breathing became stable, I looked at Juan Luis.

"You okay?" he asked.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango at huminga ng malalim, "Salamat..."

He gave me a small smile, "Do you always have nightmares?"

Nightmares.

Matagal na mula noong huli akong nanaginip ng ganito. After Mom left, I've been having the same nightmare. Nasa madilim akong lugar, hindi makagalaw. May ilaw na natatanaw pero sobrang layo at higit sa lahat, nahihirapan akong huminga. Everytime I dream of this, I feel like dying. What I feel in my dream is what I feel in real life. Gumigising ako na may luha sa aking mga mata.

I feel nervous. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nanaginip na naman ako ng ganito.

"Pasok ka na?" Tanong ko kay Luis, iniiba ang usapan.

"Maya-maya pa..." He looked at his wrist watch. Tumango ako.

"Magluto ako... kumain ka na ba?" Tanong ko.

He nodded. Nagkibit balikat ako at pumunta sa banyo para maghilamos. In days where I feel suffocated, I always try to drown myself in anything. Sa paglalaba, pagluluto, paghuhugas ng pinggan. Because waking up doesn't mean the nightmare will end. Pakiramdam ko pa rin, sinasakal ako.

Once I finished washing my face, I stared at it through the mirror.

Lumabas ako pagkatapos pa ng ilang minuto. Juan Luis is sitting on my bed, doing something on his phone. Ibinaba niya iyon nang makita ako. I wiped my face lightly using the towel behind the door. Bago ko pa maisabit muli ang tuwalya ay naramdaman ko na ang pagyakap ni JL mula sa likod ko.

Just like that, my heart raced.

"Bakit?" Tanong ko.

"Nothing..." He answered. Juan Luis rested his chin on my shoulder, "I have a gift..."