The Ruins of Winter

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"Yuri Ortega. Isaiah's father."

Nanlamig ako pagkatapos na sabihin iyon. Mula sa reaksyon ni Juan Luis, I can conlude that he knows him. His shocked reaction is telling me that. He knows Yuri.

"Y-Yuri..." He said, "Teka, Erys..."

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumango sa kanya, "Yes, Yuri Ortega. I don't know much about him except his name at nakita ko ang mga interview niya sa telebisyon. But I'm sure... I'm sure that he's Isaiah's father... and I badly need to talk to him..."

He looked at me with disbelief. He started walking back and forth again, as if he's trying to comprehend what I just said. He looked at me with bloodshot eyes, "Paano? I don't understand, Erys. Talaga bang may iba ka noon? Because I will tell you right now, I think that I am his father."

"It's a one night stand. We were both drunk after what happened in your villa..." Muli siyang nagulat sa sinabi ko at mariin na pumikit, "I-It just happened... I am not proud of it pero alam ko na siya ang ama ni Yuri..."

"A one night stand..."

"Kung ako ang papipiliin, tingin mo ba gusto ko na siya na ang tatay ni Isaiah?" I asked him, "But JL, our child is gone even before I had Ice... and we have to accept that..."

"Bakit kailangan mo pa siyang makausap?" He asked me, "Bakit kailangan mo pang sabihin sa kanya? I can be Isaiah's father, Erys. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sayo? I can give him my name... I can give him what Yuri can't..."

"But that's just wrong..." I said, "I know... that I tend to be selfish. But that's just wrong, Juan Luis... I can't do that..."

"I can marry you too."

My heart fell. Mariin akong pumikit at huminga ng malalim. Kung nasa ibang sitwasyon kami ngayong gabi at narinig kong sinabi niya yan sa akin na walang pagaalinlangan, alam ko sa sarili ko na papayag ako. I will say yes and won't even look back at the world who will judge me for marrying him.

"I don't have a ring right now but I'll get you one if you—"

But this is not just about me. This is not just about us. Sa bawat desisyon na gagawin ko, kasama ang anak ko. Hindi ko pwedeng takasan ang mundo. Hindi na ganoon ang buhay. Hindi na kami mga bata.

"I need to find him..." Ulit ko sa kanya, "I really need to find him..."

"And if you find him?" He asked.

"You know him, right?" Tanong ko.

"And if you find him? What will happen next?" He asked me, "Aalis na kayo? Iiwan mo ulit ako?"

"Hindi." Sagot ko.

Natahimik kaming dalawa. He looked away and touched his temple. Masakit na sa ulo ang usapan namin ngayong gabi. Kung saan-saan na napunta.

"Really?" He looked back with pitiful eyes, "You won't leave me?"

"Para lang ito sa anak ko, Luis." Sabi ko sa kanya, "After we meet him, I'll see what I can do. Do you think that I have plans in marrying that man? Or even having a relationship with him? Kahit siya, sigurado ako na wala. Lahat ng ito, para lang kay Ice,"

"Then you won't leave me?" He asked again, "Daenerys..."

"If I can still stay then I won't leave,"