The Ruins of Winter

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Yuri is Isaiah's father.

Alam ko na iyon noon pa, pero parang nagulat pa rin ako at tila pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa. It still stings. It stinged before, but not how it stinged right now. Bakit? Napaisip ako. And the only answer I came up with is Juan Luis.

Mas masakit ngayon dahil nandito na si JL. Mas masakit dahil meron pang iba na nasasaktan. Mas masakit dahil kahit paano, umasa akong magiging maayos kaming dalawa. Mas masakit dahil mahal namin ang isa't isa pero parang nakagapos kami sa kadenang walang nakakakita. The chain is bruising in our wrists and ankles; and it's more than painful.

Getting our things from his house felt like adding insult to injury. It signifies an end. Ang akala namin noon, natapos na kaming dalawa. Pero parang ngayon pa lang talaga kami matatapos. Kung kailan mas malinaw na ang nararamdaman namin, kung kailan mas madali na sana ang lahat.

"Mauna na ako sa sasakyan," Yuri tapped my shoulders. Iniwan muna kami ni Ice para maayos na makapagpaalam kay Juan Luis.

"Tito, thank you!" Isaiah said, spreading his arms to catch a hug from Juan Luis. Nagsquat sa Luis upang maabot ang lebel ni Ice at para mayakap niya pabalik ang anak ko, "Thank you, Tito."

Umiwas ako ng tingin sa eksena dahil sa nagbabadyang mga luha.

"Be a good boy to Mama and Papa, okay?" I heard him, "And if you ever want to play basketball with me, you can tell Mama and I am just a call away. I will surely go to you. I have all the time in the world. It's better to play with me. Bano kasi si Yuri maglaro."

Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa kanila. Isaiah nodded and asked, "Ano po yung bano?"

I smiled, but felt my heart cracking into pieces as I watch them laugh at each other because of that innocent question. Luis fixed his hair before sighing, "Will you miss Tito?"

"Yes, I will miss you!" Isaiah said, "Naalala ko po sa Camiguin, ikaw po ang nagdala sa akin sa ospital nung may umaway sa akin. Hindi pa po pala ako nagtethank you doon."

"You don't have to..."

Isaiah leaned and whispered something. Hindi ko iyon narinig pero pagkatapos ng bulong na iyon ay nangilid ang luha ni JL. He stood up and held Isaiah's hand afterwards.

"Punta ka na kay Papa," sabi ko nang matapos na sila mag-usap, "Mag-uusap lang kami ni Tito."

Ice nodded, bidding goodbye to JL again and going straight to Yuri outside.

Binalot kaming dalawa ng katahimikan. A loud silence, deafening. I can only hear the chimes in his door, the same chimes that welcomed us months ago when he opened his door for me and my son. The colors of the house is engraved in my mind, the way the furnitures looked, the way he made me feel like this is my home too.

"Erys-"

"Salamat-"

Nahinto kaming dalawa dahil sa pagsasabay. Huminga ako ng malalim at tinignan siya, "You go ahead first,"

Umiling siya, "Ikaw na. I am a gentleman."

I cannot smile at your jokes, Juan Luis. I cannot force myself to be happy right now when I am on edge and I am about to lose you. I cannot grin. I cannot laugh. I cannot chuckle. I can only wish to hear more of those stupid, silly jokes.

"Fix your clothes." I started talking, "Kapag gabi na, huwag mo nang paglutuin sila Manang. Learn how to cook. Wake up early so you can enjoy the morning sun. Jog outside. Swim. Read the books on your library para naman may pakinabang. Do not think too much of me."