The Ruins of Winter

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Erys, tumatanggap ka ba ng baking commissions ngayon-"

"Hindi. Sorry." Sagot ko sa kaklase ko. I immediately put my things inside my bag. Naramdaman ko ang tingin ni Risela sa akin ngunit hindi ko siya matignan pabalik. I went out of the classroom after our class.

Paglabas ay nakita ko ang mga booth na hinanda ng iba't ibang clubs at organizations para sa araw na ito. It's Valentines Day. Kaya naman sandamakmak rin ang mga estudyanteng may bitbit na mga regalo. Ang iba ay magbibigay at ang iba ay tumatanggap.

I spent the past few weeks baking orders for today kaya pagod ako at hindi na muna ako tumatanggap ng orders.

I'm searching for a more stable work. Nagsubmit ako ng resume sa BPO company na pinagtatrabahuhan ng kapatid ni Shane. Tutulungan raw ako na mapabilis ang proseso ng application. Mas mabilis raw kasi kapag may referal. Kapag natanggap ako doon, makakaalis na ako sa condo ni Juan Luis. Baka huminto rin ako pero ayos lang. Ayos lang...

"Constancia," napalingon ako sa tumawag sa akin. He's a member of the soccer team. Napahinto ako dahil ang akala ko ay may importante siyang sasabihin sa akin, "Uh... busy ka ba? Just wondering if you can go with me for dinner-"

"Sorry. Busy ako." Agad kong sagot at nagsimulang maglakad palayo pero sumunod pa rin siya sa akin.

"Really? Sabi ng pinsan ko na blockmate mo, hindi naman daw. Dali na... It's Valentines, anyway..." Tangina, ano namang gagawin ko kung Valentines ngayon? I don't even know his name! What makes him think that I will go with him?

"I don't care if its Valentines. If I told you I'm busy then I am busy." I answered him.

He scoffed, "Akala mo naman kung sino ka... kabit ka nga ni Tyrone 'di ba?"

Honestly, it's not shocking to know that people already knows that. I am already numb. Hindi ko magawang maoffend. Hindi ko magawang mainis. Hindi ko magawang manakit at manigaw. It doesn't hurt... because there's a much greater pain I am feeling right now. At kahit sino, kahit ano, walang makakahigit doon.

I am tired of defending myself. I am tired of making it seem like I don't deserve that because maybe at the end of the day, I still do. Baka karma ko talaga ito. Pagod na ako. They can think whatever they want. I am done with everything.

"Magkano ka ba?" Tanong niya nang makaabot kami sa parking lot. He held my wrist, "Ano? Magkano katapat mo?"

I stared back at him blankly, not even blinking. He raised a brow at me. Nang magtagal ang tingin ko sa kanya ay agad niya akong binitawan, "Weird as fuck. Don't think that I am head over heels for you, pustahan lang 'to."

"What are you doing?" Napalingon siya sa nagsalita. His lips parted. Nawala ang kayabangan niya at umatras ng medyo malayo sa akin, "Goddamn, kids these days are so fucking disrespectful. Wala kang nanay at kapatid na babae, hijo?"

Tumalikod siya na parang walang narinig at nagjog palayo sa akin at sa lalaking nagsalita. I held the area he touched and fixed my bag. Hindi tinitignan ang superhero na lumapit sa amin. Hindi ko naman kailangan ang tulong niya, kaya ko ang sarili ko.

"Erys." He called.

"Dapat po ba, rerespeto lang kapag may kapatid na babae o may nanay? Isn't respect a basic act of human decency?" I faced River Salvatorre.

"I... that's not what I meant, Erys." He said, "I just want him to realize that he should respect everyone like he respect the girls who are close to him. I'm sorry if it came out that way. Are you hurt? Did he hurt you? You can tell me so we can tell the management-"