Her Helping Hand. (W|W, INTERSEX.)

4.

RAYNE:

The sound of my watch ticking matched the pace of my heartbeat as it rang in my ear. Every day was the same, the smell of shit and pigeons picking at what was left of my dinner waking me up to the bright sun that shined against my face. I looked around, making sure my stuff were still in tact.

The scarf..where's the scarf?

I stood up, stretching my legs and smiling at the sight of the plaid fur scarf that's been keeping me warm during the last few nights. Winter was coming in harsh, the cool brisk air just above freezing almost every night. My fingertips were frozen solid, but I was used to it.

I grabbed the scarf and sniffed it, the smell of Chanel filling my nostrils and the memory of the angel's heels tapping against the pavement filling my thoughts. Ever since she gave me the scarf, I've been sitting in the same spot every night hoping and praying for another blessing.

And she came through every time.

I was convinced she was angel sent directly from God. My faith slowly deteriorated over the last few years, but that small piece that was left is what helped me get through these tough times. And then He sent me her.

Every night, I waited and waited. Hearing the familiar clicking of her heels made me excited. I never saw her face, but only her shoes. I never looked up to see who she was because I didn't feel worthy of her divine presence. I knew she was an angel and I never felt closer to heaven until I heard those footsteps. Her shoes were always so proper. So fancy. I knew God favored her based on the way she carried herself.

And the scarf. It smelt heavenly and engulfed my body like a warm hug that I've craved for over the last five years. Being homeless was tiring. Everyday I prayed for a miracle, but I don't think my prayers are enough.

I just wanted peace at this point. Whether it was from death or being saved by someone. Besides my angel giving me food and money every night, I knew it was going to end eventually.

Good things always come to an end.

"Hey! There's kids around!" Someone yelled, the feeling of a glass bottle hitting my head causing me to hiss. I saw the woman covering her child's eyes and I looked down to see my morning wood ready to make an appearance. I grunted and adjusted myself before gathering my things and walking from the building.

I walked downtown toward the clinic, ignoring the stares that came with being covered in five years worth of grime and scum. I used to be able to go into rest rooms and wash myself, but it stopped shortly after people started to complain.

Baby wipes couldn't do much after a while. So I just sucked it up. This is what my life came with. Why should I bother with anything else?

I walked into the clinic, ignoring the stares as I walked to the receptionist desk. Angela looked up and grinned at me causing me to roll my eyes.

"Good to see you, Rayne. You walked out on us yesterday. You okay?" Angela asked slowly. I hated the way people treated me. They acted as if I was dumb and I fucking hated it.

I gave her a curt thumbs up and she grinned before waving at me to follow her into the kitchen. It's the only reason why I came to this clinic. I was hungry and all the money my angel gave me is in my wallet. I refused to touch it.

I'm afraid it would be the last I receive for a while. So I rather preserve it for when I need it the most. For now, I come to the pantry every morning to eat breakfast. I sit through the painful group meetings just to eat the same turkey sandwich everyday.

It grew to be my favorite.

I grabbed my tray filled with fruit, scrambled eggs, bacon and waffles before grabbing an orange juice box and sitting down at the table.