Her Helping Hand. (W|W, INTERSEX.)

24.

UNEDITED

RAYNE:

It was after five and I finished all of my tasks for the day. After Dylan gave me the cold shoulder and demanded me to do my job, I felt myself starting to turn my emotions off. Something I used to do when I felt as if I was being threatened. This entire situation was starting to weigh on me even though it's only been a few days since we found out about the baby's development. I wanted nothing more than to hold my angel.

But she wanted nothing to do with me and she made it clear. She even had Angela hand me the paperwork instead of doing it herself. So, I cried when I was finally alone as I've been doing the last few days. I would hide in the bathroom and let out my emotions silently when she was asleep.

I felt alone in this, and it hurt terribly. It may affect her more than me, but I'm still the second parent. I deserve to be comforted too. Not shunned. I desired to be held. To feel her warmth against me as I pressed my face in her shoulder.

But I couldn't.

I sighed and wrapped up all of my paperwork before locking up the office. Ronald always left later than everyone else, so I knew Dylan wouldn't be home the same time I was. I wanted to give it one more chance, so I swung her a text saying I was on my way home as I waited for my Uber. She left me on read but it was expected.

Once I got home I decided I wanted to prepare a nice dinner. I decided on stuffed salmon with Cajun red beans and rice with some roasted vegetables. I made small portions since she hasn't been eating much and truthfully I didn't have much of an appetite either. I cleaned the house, although it was already tidy, as I waited for the food to be ready.

I then ran upstairs and decided to set up a bath, turning on the jacuzzi to preheat the water as I placed her favorite lavender bath bomb inside. I lowered the temperature of the water so it wasn't too hot because of the baby, before adding some pink rose petals into it. I wanted nothing more than for her to relax.

I just prayed it worked.

I set the table and plated our food when I heard the elevator door open. I turned around and watched as Dylan walked in, kicking off her shoes and hanging up her wet coat in the closet. Her hair was frizzy indicating that it must've started to rain outside. She didn't say a word, walking to the downstairs bathroom and shutting the door.

I swallowed hard and waited for her to come out before sitting at the table. She walked out of the bathroom and dried her hands before looking at the dinner table.

"What's this?" She asked quietly as she walked over. Her voice was stone cold and it made me clench my jaw and clear my throat.

"I made dinna. Stuffed salmon."

She nodded and sat down at the table, still avoiding eye contact with me as she started to pick up her fork. We both ate in a tense silence. The same loud silence from this morning that caused my ears to ring. I felt my composure slowly slipping as she finished her dinner and stood up, scraping her plate and putting it in the dishwasher.

"I ran you a bath. With the lavender soap you like." I breathed as I cleaned after myself. She didn't say anything and I looked over to see her glaring at the floor.

"Thanks." She stated with no emotion what so ever. I sighed and slumped my shoulders as I stared down into the sink, tapping my fingers against it before suddenly walking to the coat closet and grabbing my jacket.

"Where are you going?" She asked harshly. I looked over at her and saw that she was glaring at me, but I could see the desperation in her eyes. I scoffed before grabbing my keys and slipping on my shoes.

"Enjoy ya bath, Dylan. Ima take a walk-"

"So you're just going to leave? Not a word, nothing?!" She suddenly shouted, causing me to look at her as if she was crazy.

"Me?! Not a word?! I been tryna talk to you all day, Dylan! You been shunning me ever since you got out the hospital!" I shouted at the top of my lungs causing her to jump. I've never once raised my voice at her before, but I was becoming frustrated. I've been doing nothing but trying to comfort her. To be there for her, but at the end of the day that's my baby too.

Why do I have to be the one to pick up the pieces when I'm broken too?

"Excuse me? Do you possibly think I'm going to be okay right now?! Huh?! What do you want me to do?! Do you want me to scream?! Lash out?!" She screamed as she threw her glass cup on the ground.

"Anything is better than the cold shoulder you been givin me, Dylan. I never said you was gonna be okay. But did you stop and think to see if I was okay too?!" I yelled back as I took a step forward. She glared up at me with dark eyes, the tears welling inside of them as I stared back with just as much malice.

"I'm the one carrying this baby-"

"What the hell does that mean?! I'm not allowed to be comforted?! That's my kid too, bro! Why can't anyone understand that?!" I suddenly sobbed, the tears streaming down my face.

"I've been doin nothin but tryna be there for you! You won't even let me hold you, Dylan. Not even ya hand, bro. How you think that's makin me feel?! You think it's makin me feel any better thinkin you hate me?!" I continued to cry. Her tears were streaming down her face too as she continued to stare at me. Her chin trembled and she shook her head as she looked away.

"I don't hate you-"

"Well it sure seems like it. As if you blame me for what's goin on when all I'm tryna do is hold onto faith. I even told you the survival rates are high. Down syndrome ain't shit! For all we know the baby gonna be fine! It could've been a mishap or somethin, but no! You refuse to be a team here and it's killin me, yo! I ran you a bath. I wanted to give you a massage, I wanted to kiss you, tell you its gonna be okay not only to reassure you but to reassure myself, too. Ain't nobody to blame here for what's goin on but our genes. But if you wanna blame me, fine. You wanna give me the cold shoulda, gahead. But I'm not stickin around fa it. I'm goin to the store." I hissed before opening the elevator door and walking inside, avoiding her eyes as the door shut closed.