Dear James

Surprise Surprise

Today is the day of the baby shower and I'm really excited. My mom has been planning this for a full week. Now it's more of a family event but I cannot wait. I was still laying in bed after being up for a little over thirty minutes, Little Man was kicking non-stop. Now that I'm officially nine months I can have my little nugget. All of his things are at the new house and a little of mine as well. Kaiden said we would have to stay in the apartment a little longer than he originally thought but Im okay with that. After another ten minutes I recieved a text from my mom asking for me to come over now. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I figured I would take a shower and all that at my parents house. I grabbed an all white maxi dress with a floral pattern going across the top and gold sandals.

I put all of it in a Love Pink bag that Kim got me for Christmas last year. I grabbed my phone, charger, and hair things that I might need later on. Before I headed out I went into Kim's room to see if she was awake. She was awake but she wasn't up. She still had bed hair and was buried under the covers. I walked over to the other side of the bed to lay there with her for a moment. I slipped my shoes off before laying right next to her, barely leaving any room between the two of us.

"Grace what ever you want can we please talk about it later...please. I'm not in the mood." She sniffed.

"What's wrong? I thought you were coming to help set up the shower today."

"Oh... that's today?" She smacked her hand against her forehead and brought the covers over her head.

"Yeah... are you still coming? I don't know how I'm going to get through it without you." I nudged her. I slowly removed the covers from her head , her light brown eyes looked at me and i could see the pain in her eyes. She's never looked so like this

She looks tired.

"Yeah but I will meet you there i just need some time ya know? " She wiped her face and then looked at me with a smile.

"Okay... promise you'll be there an hour early?" I gave her my puppy dog eyes

"Yes I promise." Kim chuckled lightly which made me more comfortable leaving her here alone. I rolled out of the bed and slid my shoes back on. I just looked at her for a while, hoping she'd change her mind and come with me but she didn't. She continued to lay there, watching me.

"Call me when you get there. Alright?"

I nodded. I picked up my bag from the floor, leaned over to Kim and kissed her forehead and headed for the door.

After a long hour and a half commute, because of traffic on the highway. I pulled into the driveway behind my dad's motorcycle, that he never rides. After retrieving my key from the bag I walked into my house. This house has too many memories, that's one reason I left so early. At first I wanted to be here, once the boys died but then the longer I was in the house, the more I hated this house. Now, it doesn't hurt as much to be here as it used to be here.

I looked around at the decor that my mom had already set up. She had blue tool going across the ceiling. Stuff was hanging from the ceiling and it looked amazing. I smelled food and i knew it was my mother. I put down my bag and went into the kitchen where she was.

"Hi baby!" She noticed me before I could even get a word out. She began to caress my belly and talk to him as if he were really here.

"Hey mom." I hugged her. We somehow ended up in the dining room after she turned off the stove.

"So, how are you? Are you okay?"

"Um... I'm ok. Just really uncomfortable and my back hurts really bad." Right when the words came out of my mouth another shooting pain shot through my back and lower abdomen.