𝘕𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘙 𝘌𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘎𝘏 (The Outsiders) ·Dallas Winston· [Unfinished]

Chapter 64

TW: suicide & depression ‼️

Dally dropped me off at the hospital in the morning on his way into work. I was sitting with Blake in Samson's room.

The doctor came in and asked me to step out so the three of them could talk. I left the room then stood by the door to listen in.

"We haven't been able to speak to you about your records." The doctor said to Sam. "You're on antidepressants?"

"No." Sam responded.

"He stopped taking them." Blake butt in.

"Blake-"

"No, Sam." Blake snapped. "Our sister and him got in this huge fight. Her being here is a fucking miracle because she hadn't spoken to Sam in God knows how long and she moved out to get away from him."

"That's when..." Sam trailed off.

"Your first visit was around six weeks ago." The doctor spoke. "Then again 5 weeks ago, three weeks ago, and-"

"Look, I know. You don't gotta repeat it all back to me, alright?" Sam interrupted.

"Samson have you ever thought about admitting yourself."

"Elena would know then." Blake spoke.

"Maybe that's good she knows." The doctor said. "If she doesn't know you've attempted suicide-"

"She doesn't need to know, alright? And I don't want my damn antidepressants either and Im not going to a mental hospital." Sam lashed out. "Maybe one of these times it'll work."

I teared up and left the doorway. I went into the bathroom and started crying. I had no clue any of that was going on.

I calmed myself down and splashed my face with water. I dried my face off and went back into the hall. I walked to the waiting room and sat down. I stared at the girl across the room reading a magazine.

-

I fell asleep next to Sam on his bed. He had his arm around me and I was conscious of his wound.

Blake woke me up when it was time for us to go. He told me Dally and Andy were in the waiting room waiting for me.

I kissed Sam on the head and left the room. Before I walked down the hall I grabbed Blake's wrist.

He stared at me in confusion but his eyes softened when he saw the tears in my eyes.

"Elena he's doing okay." Blake sighed.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away, "don't lie to me."

"He's healing fine-"

"He's tried to kill himself?" I interrupted.

Blake stared at me and looked in shock. He didn't know what to say.

"I heard your conversation with the doctor. How could neither of you tell me?" I wiped the tears off my cheeks. "I could've caused-"

"Stop El, you didn't cause this." He sighed. "Hes always been sick. Auntie got him medicated when he was in high school. And he's been doing okay but he went off his meds and... well you heard apparently."

I sniffled and exhaled, "you should have told me. I could've been more understanding."

"Sam didn't want to worry you." Blake put his hand on my shoulder. "Even if it meant you coming home, he didn't want you to know." Blake wiped my tears and pulled me into a hug. "You can't blame yourself."

"You said he went off his meds after I moved out. That means its my fault, Blake. And how could no one even tell me he was in the hospital? Let alone 5 times."

Blake sighed, "El depression is a hormone imbalance. Even if Sam had a perfect life he'd still have this illness."

"But he wouldn't have tried to kill himself if I hadn't said all that shit to him. If I wouldn't have left he might be okay."

"We've got it under control Elena. You can't beat yourself up about this." He pulled me into a hug.

"Howd he do it?" I muttered.

"First time he tried hanging himself. That's when... well I found him on the floor. Second and third times he tried downing pills. The last time he tried hanging himself again. He's begged me not to tell you."

I didn't say anything. I wiped my tears and sniffled. I started walking away and he followed.

"Elena you can't tell anyone. He doesn't want anyone knowing."

"Why?" I snapped. "How am I supposed to ignore this?! Just because what, he doesn't want to be seen as weak? What if he had actually succeeded, Blake? How weak would he be seen as?"

"Just..." he ran his hand through his hair. "Elena I know its hard to understand."

"Yeah. Yea I don't understand why the fuck he'd want to kill himself and why I was left in the dark about this." I let out a sob and wiped my tears. "I told him I hate him."

"You can't blame yourself El, it's not your fault." Blake followed me as I walked away quickly sobbing.

"Just leave me alone." I pushed the doors open and walked into the waiting room. Blake didn't follow me into the waiting room.

Anderson walked to me and tried pulling me into a hug but I shoved him away and walked out of the emergency room doors.

"Elena." Dally and Anderson followed me.

I started walking into the parking lot but Dally grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. I gave in and sunk into him. I don't think he's ever seen me cry like this. He sat on the curb and laid me down with my head on his lap.

I buried my face in his leg as I cried and he ran his fingers through my hair. I heard Anderson tell Dally he's going to go inside to give us space. After five minutes or so I cried all the tears I had. I was left calming down with Dally still running his fingers through my hair. I was gasping for air as my sobs came to an end.

"Whats wrong, my love?" He said quietly.

I stayed quiet. I faced up at him and shook my head, "Just... worried."

"About Sam?" He took the pad of his thumb and wiped under my eyes. "The doctor said he's fine, right?"

I nodded and closed my eyes, "its other stuff... they don't want me to talk about it."

"Im gonna take you home then." He stood up and pulled me to my feet. "You need a break."

"I need to be with my brothers." I pulled my hands away. "I want to stay."

"Elena you just-" he let out a gruff sigh. "Okay."

He held his hand out for me and I took it we walked inside and sat in the waiting room.