Meet me again - (Sarah Paulson)

VIOLENCE

TW - Eating-Disorder, Violence, Panic Attack

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Dr Robbins realized I was missing even before the nurse stopped me in front of the hospital doors. She had informed Sarah who was obviously worried for me. Everybody was looking for me when I ran into the restroom of the ground floor. I closed the door behind me trying to catch my breath, eyes closed, when I heard someone crying behind me. I turned around to her, my person, Sarah.

I stood there, watching her crying when she looked up at me. Her face suddenly changed from a desperate look to a mix between anger, worry and shock.

"GABRIELLE !!" She shouted. Then she ran to hug me tightly. She was nearly choking me because she was holding me very tightly.

"Sarah I- I can't breath" I tried to say.

"Oh sorry baby, sorry I was so scared!" she said grabbing my head with her hands, stroking my cheeks with her thumbs. She was crying her eyes out and I couldn't help but start crying too. I realized that she found me so my last chance to leave was a failure. But her caring for me like that was so comforting.

We stayed like that for few minutes until we heard again the alarm and the voice in the microphone saying that I was still missing.

"Oh my god Gabrielle, they are looking for you we need to find Dr Robbins and tell her you're here and safe." Sarah said taking my hand to walk outside the restroom but I didn't move and stopped crying.

"Come on Gabrielle." She said wiping her own tears and pulling me outside.

"No." I replied very quietly, almost inaudible.

"What honey ?"

"No." I said loudly this time, and sternly.

"Gabrielle, no more negotiation." Sarah answered more strictly. But as I wasn't moving or answering so she added "You're going with me. Now."

Her stern voice made me shiver and I walked quickly to the other side of the restroom.

"I'm not going Sarah, you know what they are going to do to me."

She got closer to me but I took a step back and put my bag in front of me, like to protect me.

"Hey hey hey, no one is going to hurt you my love. We're here to help you, nothing else." She said trying to grab my hand.

"No, no no no ! You saw it before, they want me here, doing what they want even if I don't like it!"

"It's for you baby girl, our only goal is to help you."

I started crying again, but quietly, hiding behind my bag. Sarah tried to slowly take my bag but I started fighting and crying loudly. Sarah got more violent and caught my bag with strength.

"Stooop ! Let me go pleeeaaase let me get out of here." I said shakily and still crying. Sarah wasn't able to calm me down so she took out her phone and called Dr Robbins.

"Yes... I found her... She is with me... No... In the restroom of the first floor... Okay..." was all I heard until the main door of the restroom opened violently. I saw Dr Robbins with Dr Wilson and some nurses. They approached me slowly but it scared me even more.

"Come on Gabrielle calm down and come with us." Said Dr Robbins. "We don't want to use violence to get you out of here."

She was calm but stern. No sign of worry on her face as she continued to approach me.

"GET AWAY !! Get away pleeeaaase.." I cried of hopelessness. But she kept getting closer and talking to me. I needed calm, I needed to think and I couldn't because everything was going on so fast, and everything was so loud around me.

"Calm down, we're here your safe Gabrielle. Look at me." Resumed Dr Robbins.

I put my hands on my ears to calm myself down but nothing was working so I put my hands on my face to cover my eyes.

"Gabrielle stop, be careful with your tube. Take your hands off of your face." Dr Robbins said, making me remember I still had the tube on my nose down to my stomach. As I realized it, I felt like I needed to take it out, I couldn't handle it anymore. So I took the end of the tube from behind my ear and I pulled very strongly.

It burnt but I reopened my eyes to see that the tube was entirely out. I heard Sarah burst into tears next to me and Dr Robbins jumped on me, helped by the nurses while Dr Wilson took the tube out of my hand.