Meet me again - (Sarah Paulson)

RECOVERY

TW : Mention of Self-Harm and Eating Disorder, Death

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I spent the next few weeks having appointments and staying at Sarah and I house, to rest and to regain strength. Sarah was by my side during all the way to recovery, even in the worst moments.

Sometimes I would scream at her for making me eat, I would say to her that she just want me to be fat and ugly. Sometimes I would fight with her, physically, but she always ended up holding me tight and waiting for me to calm down, even if I was hurting her.

Slowly by slowly, I was getting better. My physical health was good and I was no longer underweight, and my scars were fading. My mental health was still fragile, but I needed to find something to do for it to get better. Staying at our home all day wasn't the best solution so I started again looking for universities. But when Sarah discovered it, she was scared to let me go again so she searched days and nights for studies next to my house, when she found the university I restrained myself to go to it.

"Gabrielle look, this college seems good ! And you told me you wanted to be a teacher, look, it can prepare you to work with people with disabilities. Do you find that interesting ?" Sarah asked me.

I suddenly took the laptop to look at the website.

"Wait... I already look for this college ! I was so exciting when I found it !"

"Why didn't you go then ?" Sarah was confused.

"Because I'm still sick, how can I help young people like me if I can't take care of my own mental health ?" I said looking at my lap and fidgeting with my fingers. Sarah lifted my chin with her finger, so that I was looking at her.

"Hey, I understand what you are saying, but it doesn't justify to not go to this college. And it's the contrary of what you think. You can help this young people, you can help them even better than me, or the other teachers because you went through what they are going through. You can truly understand how they are feeling, You are the best person for this job honey, and I'll so proud of you if you become one of those teachers."

"Do you really mean it ?" I asked looking deep into Sarah's brown eyes.

"Yes, I do sweetheart." She answered taking my hands and kissing them. "And the university is very close to our house, so you can stay here, you don't have to live by yourself in an apartment !"

I was so happy and grateful, my dream was coming true.

We did the inscription that same afternoon and I started to go to this new college the week after. It was so interesting, I enjoyed all the classes and Sarah was by my side, helping me with my homework as she did the same studies.

After few months, we were able to do a work placement in a school, supervised by a real teacher, and I chose Sarah's school, and Sarah. As I was helping her to give classes, I felt complete. My life was incredible, I was doing my dream job, with my favorite person in the whole world, and I was getting better. Dr Robbins said at our last appointment that my recovery was nearly finish, I was finally healed.

But one day, I got a call, about something I totally forgot about it.

"Hello Miss Gabrielle Evans, it's detective Smith. I'm sorry but your parents died last night. They were drunk and they drove next to the cliff and fell. I know your situation with your parents, so I'll let you some time to think about what you want to do about funerals and you can call me when you want. Good luck."

My jaw dropped. I was in choke, but not really sad. As it was an early morning, I just dressed and put some makeup and I wait for Sarah to go to the school.

"You're okay honey ? You seem off this morning." She said as she was driving, but looking at me.

"Yes, I'm fine... But- I... I got a call this morning." I said, trying to hold my tears, I didn't want to cry for the people who never really loved me. Sarah put her hand on my thigh. "Come on sweetie, tell me."

"Well, my parents died. In a car accident, because they were drunk."I said as tears were slowly streaming down my face.

"Oh baby" Sarah said before stopping the car and pulling me in a hug.

"I don't know why I'm crying, I'm not even sad, on the contrary, I'm relieved !" I cried. "But I can't help, I can't stop the tears."

"Hey, it's normal baby girl, even if they didn't do their job correctly, they were your parents. It's normal to feel like that." Sarah explained to me. I nodded and she helped me dry my face. We went to the school and started the first classes, as my mind was totally lost.