Meet me again - (Sarah Paulson)

FRIENDS

TW - Mention of Self-Harm, Mental Illnesses, Anxiety

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We spent a whole week to be finally completely settled in our new house. It was so long because I had to take all my stuff from the dorm. By the way, when I came back to my old bedroom in the school dormitory, I saw my roommates. They were happy but a bit choked to see me. It has been months since we didn't see each others. In fact, they tried to call me few times but I wasn't answering because I was so scared of their reactions and that they would judge me. But what I didn't know is that Sarah gave them news about me often. She was going to the dorm only to see them and speak to them about my state. But as Sarah saw I didn't want to talk to people from the school, and I was so afraid to share what was happening to me, she didn't talk to me about the fact she was in touch with my roommates. (if you want to know more about who Gabrielle roommates are, go to the chapter named LIES, there is a presentation of them, one by one.)

I opened the giant door of the dormitory corridor and I walked to my bedroom. When I opened it, the three girls inside turned to face me. I saw their jaws dropped and they didn't moved. They froze and the time stopped. Until Clara, in her usual discretion came to hug me. She stayed like that for few minutes until Heather and Kayna joined her. Tears were streaming slowly down my cheeks.

"We miss you. So badly Gabby." Heather said first.

I couldn't answer, my throat was burning so Kayna took the lead.

"Oh my god Gabrielle I'm so mad at you." She yelled. I was a bit choked but I always knew Kayna was angry all the time. "I'm mad because I miss you !! You weren't here, I had to bare the others, and without you it was impossible argh." She finished.

I laugh slightly and they released the hug because I couldn't breath. I sighed knowing I should have to explain every thing that happened to them. I sat on my bed and thought that it has been a while since I didn't slept in it. I could see few stains of my sheet, probably due to my self-harming. The girls sat next to me and I asked them where was Lilly, my last roommate, and my favorite. She was my best friend but I had not seen her since I left. The girls answered that she was out with some friends and I felt a little bit sad thinking about her laughing with her new best friend. I was trying to avoid talking about every thing that had happened but a huge silence filled the room so I started talking.

"I think we have to talk. I need to give you an explanation..."

But he girls suddenly said "No Gabrielle don't worry ! We know, Ms Paulson explained it to us. You know every time she gave you your clothes or stuff, she was coming before in here and we were talking about you while she was taking you clean clothes. We wanted so badly to know what was happening but you weren't answering your phone so we talked to Ms Paulson."

I felt so relieved. They knew since the beginning but they didn't judge me. Since I entered our bedroom I was sure they would kick me out once I explained all the last few months but they knew, since I came.

We talked for hours about a lot of things, the school, gossips, the hospital, Sarah, Kayna's crush... When I heard the door opening. I looked up to it, and I saw Lilly. She looked straight into my eyes with a big smile on her face and when she ran to hug me, I closed my eyes.

"Oh Gab !! Oh gosh I miss you my silly bestie !" She screamed. She quickly released the hug and ran to her bag that she had dropped on the floor when she saw me and she ran to her closet as well. I was wondering what she was doing until she came back to me and sat on the floor.

"As I didn't know when you were coming back and I couldn't see you to speak to you about all the gossips, as we used to do before, I filled up a box with multiples things related to things that had happened. Every day I was putting more and more objects on it for the day I'll see you again, so that I won't forgot anything that I need to say to you."

My eyes filled with tears but I didn't want to cry, although it was happy tears.

"I- I don't know what to say Lil, it's so, so nice!"

"Don't say anything!" She cut me. "I have something else." Lilly grab something in her bag and offered it to me. I opened the package and saw a big cookie with chocolate and caramel.

"You used to loooove those." She said smiling. "And I don't know if you remember but-"

I cut her "- I used to buy one for me and break it in two pieces because you were drooling in front of it." I finished her sentence. I could see some tears forming in her eyes too.

"But then you stopped buying them, or when you were buying one, you would eat a teeny tiny bite and gave me the whole rest." Lilly said looking down. She resumed. "I couldn't ever imagine that I was an eating disorder that made you do that."

"But I'm okay now, look" I said taking a big bite if the cookie.

"Hey ! Let me have some !" she screamed jumping on me and fighting to have the cookie. We were laughing so much.

It was so good to see my roommates, I mean, my friends again. Sarah came to pick me up before the sun went down and I promised the girls that I would invite them to ou new home. I got all my stuff and when we said goodbye, Lilly gave me the memories box she made for me since I left because of my illnesses. It meant so much for me. It proved me that even if she had new friends, we were still best friend, she never forgot me, neither did Heather, Clara and Kayna.

Sarah drove me home. I was holding the box on my lap and tears were falling on it. But it was happy tears.