Meet me again - (Sarah Paulson)

LIFE

TW - Self-Harm, Suicide

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"Hello ?! Please come here now !" Sarah screamed on her phone.

"Please Miss, calm down and tell me what is happening."

"That's my.. my daughter ! I mean not really but... She tried to kill herself ! She is bleeding a lot please help her !" She kept screaming. When I heard again the word daughter, I couldn't help but fight for my life, and for Sarah. Tears were silently covering my face like blood was covering the bathroom floor.

"How did it happened ?" Asked the person on the phone.

"She cut her wrists, there is blood everywhere I- I can't stop the bleeding..." Sarah was shaking but she tried to remain calm.

"We're on our way Miss. Keep the pressure on the sores."

"Please hurry..." Sarah said before hang up.

"Honey you heard that ? Help is on the way, you'll be okay I promise. Keep fighting baby girl, I love you..." was all I could hear before completely collapse in Sarah's arms.

While I was unconscious, the paramedics came. They tried at first to stop the bleeding coming from the deep cuts on my wrists, but it wasn't working so they gave me blood and put on oxygen on my lungs. Then they drove me to the hospital, again. Sarah followed the ambulance with her car and met me in a hospital room. They were trying again to stop my bleeding and Sarah tried to grab my hand but as the doctors were working on my arms, she wasn't able to hold my hand.

A nurse asked Sarah if she wanted to clean herself, as she had a lot of blood on her clothes and her skin. She agreed, because she couldn't stay with me for now.

The doctors put some huge bandages on my wrists and the gave me more blood. Sarah came back to me and was finally able to hold my hand. The doctors had cleaned me up, so I had nomore blood everywhere.

I woke up as I was hearing Sarah whispering, nearly like if she was praying. "Sweetheart wake up, I'm here. I'll take good care of you I promise I'll never let that happen again. Never."

When she noticed that my eyes opened, she stood up and hugged me tight. I was so scared that she would be mad at me. But she knew me too well and she immediately started talking.

"Honey you scared me. But you're okay now." She kissed my forehead. "Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay. I'm not mad at you, no one is mad at you. We're all glad you're here. Please never scare me again like that..."

I tried to speak but cries were faster. I started crying loud and Sarah hold me tight in her arms. She stroked my hair for few minutes and I buried my head in her neck. It was something that helped me so much, it made me feel loved and her perfume and warmth felt like a home for me. As my crying was calming down, she released slowly my body.

"I want to go home Sarah." I said, more like a statement than a question.

"Me too baby girl, but I'm waiting for the doctors to tell us what we need to do." She answered, smiling lightly.

"They are going to say that I have to stay here but you know I can't, last time was too difficult. I want home." I started crying again, imagining I would have to stay again here, without Sarah.

"But home doesn't seem like a good place for you as well." She replied. "Can you explain me what happened ? Why did you... do that ?"

I looked down and tears were filling my eyes, and Sarah's eyes too.

"I went for a walk but-" And I suddenly started to cry again, but I kept talking because I needed to talk to Sarah, I needed her to trust me forever so I couldn't lie again. I resumed. "I stepped in a clothing store but there were people I knew from the school and they were talking about me and-" I stopped to take my breathe. "And it was very mean, so I hid in a fitting room but they were close so I was still hearing them, I started... cutting... and I ran to the apartment and then I cut again but I didn't really realized it was deeper than usual." And at this sentence, Sarah flinched.

"Usual ??" She asked.

"I'm so sorry Sarah ! I regret, I feel terrible with myself I didn't wanted to worry you" I was crying a lot, almost choking. "I did it again, but I promise I'll stop ! I promise !"

Sarah kissed my bandaged arms. "It's okay honey, you did nothing wrong, you weren't okay it's not your fault, but you should have told me. You know that, you can tell me anything."

I tried to smile through my tears still flowing. Sarah was obviously worried and concerned but she told me she had to talk to the doctors before taking any decisions.