Meet me again - (Sarah Paulson)

BELONGINGS

TW - Mention of Mental Illnesses

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I had all my dormitory stuff now in the house. I tied up my closet but it was not full because the majority of my clothes and things were at my parents' house. I wanted so bad to get my childhood things in my new home but I didn't know how to ask Sarah to go to my parents' house and it was even more difficult to ask to my parents to grab my stuff and leave definitively.

But my parents didn't take any news of me since I was in the hospital. Before, we weren't calling very often. And time has passed, I wasn't coming home very often because I was always fighting with my mom.

Sarah called them few times when I was in my darkest phase. At first, they were talking a little, but they never asked where I was, they didn't want to see me. And gradually they stopped answering the phone. Sarah tried to let them messages but one day they blocked her number. As they never tried to directly call me, they didn't block my number.

So one night, I typed a long message, to my father because my relationship was better with him than with my mother. But I didn't had the courage to send it. The next day I re read it, I changed a few things and after I took few deep breath, I sent it.

'Hi dad,

It's been a while since we didn't talk. I know you had some conversations with one of my teacher about me. And I want you to know that I'm better now. I'm healed and I stopped every bad behaviors that you and mom didn't like about me.

I stopped school, for now but Ms Paulson and I are looking for a new school.

By the way I now live with her. I'm no longer in the dormitory because it wasn't good for me. Sarah bought a great house and I'm finally happy. But I miss my childhood bedroom and all my posters, my toys, my clothes. So I'm asking you, and mom, can I come home to get my stuff ? We could talk and catch the time if you want.

I miss you both.

Gabrielle.'

I felt relieved but stressed at the same time so I went downstairs to find Sarah cooking.

"Hi baby girl, how are you today ?" She asked with her angelic voice. She kissed my forehead and I sat.

"I'm great and you ? Did you heard about a school which need a new English teacher ?" I asked.

"I'm fine too, and no, not yet but it's okay I keep looking for it don't worry honey." She replied reassuring me. She knew I was often worried about the fact she hadn't a salary because she wasn't working but she seemed pretty rich, considering the house she just bought for us.

I must have been day dreaming because Sarah stopped cooking and looked at me.

"What are you thinking about sweetie ?" She asked me.

"Uuuuuh, nothing important it's fine." I answered, not wanting to mention my parents.

But the trust between Sarah and I was set on the talking, the communication, so she sat next to me and lifted up my chin with her finger.

"I can tell there is something important going on into this little head of yours. Talk to me." Her tone was stern but she remained calm and reassuring.

"Well... I sent a message to my dad this morning." I said looking down again.

Sarah took a step back. "Your dad ?" She repeated, but I remained silent. "About what ?" She asked again.

"I- I just wanted to..." I don't know why but it was so hard to talk about my parents, to talk about my previous life, before I met Sarah.

"Listen honey" Sarah said before lifting my chin again. Her eyes were concerned. "You can tell me anything."

So I took a deep breathe and started. "I want to take my stuff from my parents' house and bring them here. I want my posters, my clothes... I want my things. But I'm sure my parents won't be happy with it so I sent a nice message to my dad for now, and I'm waiting his answer." I said, feeling relieved.

"Oh Gabrielle you should have tell me ! We can go to the store and buy you new decorations for your room if that's what you want. And I can buy you new clothes as well, don't be shy to ask Gabrielle."

But she didn't really understand that I wanted MY things, MY clothes, MY posters and not new ones. I explained it to her and at the end she understood. When we were looking for a way to ask my parents, my phone rang.