The Love Of Mischief

Chapter 38

My entire body felt like Mjolnir had pinned me to the floor. My eyes had flicked open. The world was really blurry.
"Hey, doll. Welcome back to the good side" I heard Bucky say. He knelt in front of me and flicked my forehead "You okay there?" He quizzed.
"I feel like I have been hit by a bus" I groaned. I sat up and wobbled a little. Bucky caught me in his arms.
"Easy, Doll" Bucky laid me back down. I shook my head and sat up. Even though it was a very bad idea.
"How long was I out?" I held my temple.
"3 days"
"3 days!" I was meant to be back in Asgard by now. And back to work. Lady Frigga will be angry with me. I looked around the room. Even though it was blurry "Where's Loki?" Where was he? Why wasn't he here? Did he leave without me? Was the voice right? "And where are my glasses?"
"Here are your glasses" Bucky handed me the frames "And as for the gothic boy, He's down the hall. He's dealing with some people's injuries. Something about how his mother taught him some basic healing spells" I felt a little relief.
"Was I the reason for their injuries?" I panicked. I don't think I would be able to stand the thought of injuring someone I cared about.
"No, They got injured from a different mission"
"What mission?" I frowned.
"Tell you later" Bucky sighed heavily.
"Bucky, How bad did I mess up?" I pulled my knees up to my chest "Do the others hate me?"
"They know it wasn't your fault" Bucky sighed "While you were out, Wanda looked in your mind. She saw what set you off" Bucky ran a hand over his face and then his air "Those twats weren't meant to experiment on you till you were a teenager. It was their one rule"
"Rules are meant to be broken" I mumbled.
"It seems that when they brainwashed you. They forgot, on purpose, To add an off command" Bucky sighed "I'm sorry that I didn't get you out in time"
"Bucky, You can't dwell on the past" Bucky shot up and stood at the window.
"All Hydra agents are meant to have an off command"
"Well they are the bad guys, It's what they do" I shrugged. Bucky scoffed as he continued to look out the window "Penny for your thoughts"
"The mission. The one the team got injured on. The team, Mainly Barton. They found the base. The one that you was held at" Bucky looked over his shoulder at me.
"What did they find?" I couldn't even look at Bucky.
"Your file and what they had planned for you" Bucky muttered as I put my feet on the floor.
"Bucky, What was their plan?" I asked this 3 times before Bucky spoke.
"You were never going to be given an off command like me. You were a one-way trip" Bucky's metal arm gripped the window sill, Causing the glass to crack.
"I was a suicide run" I put my head in my hands. I knew it. My power is designed to kill others. Not protect.
"Your kill commanded was designed to make you keep going till either you died from overuse of your powers or you needed to be  knocked out"
"Or the other option"
"The Avengers would have to kill you" Bucky spoke. I didn't know how to respond to that. I hobbled over to Bucky and stood next to him.
"I was once told my power was a gift and a curse" I folded my arms "A gift to protect those I love and a curse because I that I can also harm them" I held one hand out and made a figure in the flames. She was a ballerina. We watched as she twirled in the flames "I used to think 'Am I really a freak?' Just because I'm different. I didn't ask for these powers" The ballerina started dancing.
"I remember in those 3 days. You wouldn't even help light a fire because you were so scared that you would burn me" Bucky chuckled as I closed my hand.
"Oh, I still am afraid. I just know you can handle it better"
*Knock*Knock*
"Enter" I yelled. Banner stuck his head around the door. He held a folder in his hands "Hello Banner"
"Hey. You're awake" He spoke, Not looking at me. His arm was in a sling "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Banging headache though" I pinched my lips together as I nodded. I properly looked worse than I felt. I still couldn't believe this man turns into a big green muscle machine "What did you do to your arm?"
"The other guy... He urm... played with fire" Banner sighed.
"Oh please tell me that I didn't do  that" My face dropped, I hurt someone "Banner, I am so so sorry"
"It's fine. Thor pack's a better punch" Banner downplayed the pain. I know my power. It causes pain "Anyway, Can I have a word?" Banner spoke.
"Sure" I agreed. I looked at Bucky. Who looked at Bruce.
"Is this about...?" Bucky pointed at me with his thumb. Bruce nodded. I stared at both men.
"Could you not speak as if I wasn't here?" I sighed.
"Sorry Doll. I'll go let the greasy goth know that you're awake" Bucky patted my shoulder.

I gave my full attention to Banner once the door shut.
"So, Banner. What you got for me?" I pointed to the file. Banner held it out for me.
"Since it has your name, I figured you would want it" I took the file off the nervous doctor "You should know it has the name of your parents" I quickly opened the file. Searching for the page.
"My father is called Surtur" I scrunched my nose up. That name was familiar but why? "My mother is called Herja" That name is familiar as well "I feel like I know those names. They sound Norse"
"Maybe Thor or Loki can help you. Our knowledge of Norse is... flawed" Banner stuttered. He kept looking away every time I looked up.
"Banner why can't you look at me?" I closed my file and put it on the bed.
"I'm embarrassed about what Hulk, The other guy. About what he did to you" Banner admitted.
"Well, I did burn your arm so call it even" I smiled as I pointed to the sling "It was for my own good. When I have been told about myself, I wasn't going to stop. I had to be knocked out or killed" I walked over to Banner.
"Still, He shouldn't have slammed you into the ground so hard"
"Then blame Stark, He told Hulk to smash" I let out a puff of air "Banner, Look at me. Hulk did what he had to do. He understood the assignment"
"How can you be so calm about this? We almost killed you" Banner raised his voice.
"Oh I am angry about it all but my emotions control the fire. I have to be calm if not then we will be right back where we were 3 days ago" I leaned against the cool wall "If I am being honest, I ain't even mad at Stark. I am mad at myself and... them" I didn't want to say their name.
"Why yourself?"
"For allowing myself to give in to the voices. Be claimed by my emotions to hurt those I care about" I slid down the wall.
"What did they say?" Banner walked around "The voices"
"Destroy you all. Kill everyone. Loki doesn't love me. Don't let the Avengers win" I hide my face in my hair "I was designed to be a weapon"
"And you are a little overwhelmed with it all?"
"Yeah" I took a few deep breaths. My chest started to tighten and the room started spinning. It got worse the more I tried to control it. Everything over the last few weeks finally got to me. I didn't want to burn the world but instead, I wanted it to swallow me up.
"Amelia are you okay?"
"I need to take a minute" I managed to croak out, trying to fight off my own laboured breathing. I felt like my entire frame was going to crumble along with it. I could hear nothing over my own rapid breathing and my heartbeat pounding inside my ears. I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering as hot tears trailed onto the bridge of my nose before dripping down and off the tip "I feel like I can't breath"
"Amelia" he stuttered out "Are you sick? Do you want me to get Bucky or call Loki in here"
"No!" I cut him off, voice cracking. I didn't want Loki to see me so weak "Don't... don't get a-any... anyone, please."
"But you just said you can't breathe," Banner murmured. his face and touch both softening. I was trying my best to slow my breathing. The last thing I wanted to do was frighten Banner, or scar him with another meltdown. But still ended up spilling more tears onto my cheeks.
"I am fine" I whispered.
"Are you having a panic attack or something?" Banner narrowed his eyes. I nodded, keeping my eyes pointed at the floor and waiting to be called weak. This wasn't my first panic attack, I used to have them when I went out with Elena. She used to call me weak. It had been so long since I last had a panic attack, I had almost forgotten what they were like.
"I'm sorry" I croaked. I thought Banner would look at me with disgust but he never did. I think he understood what was going on.
"It's fine" Banner whispered without any bite.
"I don't know why this is happening," I sobbed. Banner sighed, He walked over to me and sat down. He wrapped his arms around me.
"Can I do anything to help?"I shook my head, grateful that Banner was trying to help, even if his body was stiff and clearly unsure.
"Just please don't leave."
"I won't," Banner assured me "I won't leave until Loki gets here"

I don't know how long we were sitting there. I never even heard the door open, Or the bed squeak. I was just staring into space.
"Is she okay?" I heard my Loki speak.
"She had a panic attack" Banner shuffled a little so Loki could sit next to me. Banner's sleeve was wet. I cling to Loki's arm.
"What brought it on?" Loki ran a hand over my arms. I don't who Loki asked, so I just looked at the wall.
"I think everything got to her in the end. From my perspective, I think it may have been brewing for a few days, to be honest," Banner took his glasses off and used the end of his shirt to clean them. Loki held his hand out. Banner stared at it and then shook it.
"Okay. Thank you Bruce" Loki shook his hand "I really mean it"
"I know. I need to go talk to Wanda. Look after her" Banner nodded as he said bye and shut the door.

I heard Loki sigh as the door closed. I started sobbing. Letting everything out.
"It's OK, love, I'm here now, I'm here," Loki said softly, hugging me tight "I'm here" He whispered, His fingers running through my hair over and over again.
"I'm sorry" Was all I could say.
"It's fine, Bucky told me that you two talked. No one blames you for anything. If anything you shooked them" Loki chuckled.
"I did?" I blink rapidly.
"You stopped and picked up Thor's hammer. Even Rogers couldn't do that" Loki smiled at me "I was practically in a trance watching you. Your training with Sif has paid off. You held Thor off"
"If I had kept up with my training then I wouldn't off lost it"
"We all have mental relapses" Loki pulled my head to his chest "I mean look at me, I acted out when I found out I was adopted and acted like a child. I even froze Hemidall"
"You freeze people and I set them on fire. We make a right pair" I scoffed.
"Yeah, we do. That's why I want to marry you, my pet" Loki grinned as kissed the top of my head.
"Still?"
"Yes, I want to marry your crazy fire breathing ass. I even want to make little Frost Giants hybrids that shoot ice beams and fireballs" Loki laughed.
"If the incident 3 days ago proves anything, My powers are not designed to protect. They are designed to kill" I looked at my bruised hand "All the bad people have to do is say their name three times and boom, walking volcano"
"But now we know what triggers you, We can assure that that word is never mentioned" Loki assured "All I know is that as long as I have you by my side, The 9 realms will be protected"
"Are you okay with being a protector? I know you wanted to be King"
"It is true that I was raised to be a King. I thought it was Asgard but Odin lied. I thought I could rule the Frost Giants. Yeah, that went out the window. But I now know that I only need to be King of one world"
"And what world is that?" I turned so I was now facing Loki.
"Yours. Since you are Queen of my world, It's only fair that I am King of yours" Loki Eskimo kissed me.
"Oh, well played sir" I grinned as Loki's hand found its way to my cheek.
"But?"
"How did you know there's a but?"
"Because I know you" Loki smiled. I climbed onto my knees "What's the but?"
"But is that truly enough for you? I don't want to hold you back"
"Amelia, Being yours is enough for me. For now and forever" Loki spoke softly as he kissed me. I responded in kind but there was one thought in my head.

How long is forever?