FOCUS-PJM✔️

.graduated filter.

4K words :) It's a hefty one

JIMIN

The amount of free that I feel the second Yujin is gone should be illegal. I feel like I should attend a therapy session for how much air I'm breathing now that she's not here. Was she always that stifling? My chest feels so much better now.

I don't feel guilty about anything. I have no problems wanting to be home. Even though I'm in this house by myself, I still feel okay. This is liberating. I've never felt like this after a breakup before.

It's been about a week and I still don't feel bad.

I call and FaceTime Amaria and Kai everyday. I haven't had time to go see her because she's doing the choreography work that she was supposed to do while the storm hit. J-Hope posted a picture of them together on Instagram with the 'shh' emoji. I'm assuming along with everyone else that he's the artist she's choreographing for.

Amaria's mother and father have had Kailo. I would have asked them to bring him over but with that car following me the other day, the last thing that I want to do is risk it. At this point, I wouldn't even care.

I have a son. So what? Sue me.

But it's Amaria that I'm worried about. She hasn't spoken about what would happen if his identity and our connection ever was made public. Speaking of, the official paperwork for Kailo's name change has been finalized and granted. They were able to use the DNA test from January being that it's within six months of the petition file.

That information felt weird to hear. Kailo's 9 month mark hit yesterday and I'm still in utter disbelief that that I've only known him for three months. It feels longer than that. Much longer.

As I sit on the couch with my legs crossed, my phone starts ringing. My manager is calling. When I answer it, I realize that it's a group call.

"Hello?"

"Have you seen any of the news circulating on Twitter lately?"

"Yes. I already spoke with Amaria about one of them, the other is more Yujin's concern than mine right now."

That blue car that was following my car leaving Amaria's house that day was paparazzi. They only got pictures of the vehicle and nothing else but it was a close call. They assume that whoever the tinted car was picking up was there through the storm given that there a 'no drive' order on the city after it was blanketed in snow.

The internet concludes that it was probably her son's father since her Instagram post with Kailo hinted that we're on good terms. Her family also wouldn't travel with tinted cars to and from her home, they never do.

All of that is only riling her fans up with curiosity. They aren't overstepping though. It's the rest of the internet that's doing that. I've noticed that her fans are very calm, almost as much as she is. Until they're pissed off or someone starts with them first.

The other thing that's been trending is on stan Twitter. The day that Yujin and I argued, somebody heard it. It may have been the neighbor behind us or maybe across this wide street but somebody heard it. They mostly heard Yujin. I wasn't yelling as loud or as much as she was. I raised my voice a bit but that was the extent of it.