(18+) These Three Words | A DeVanté Swing Fanfiction

Chapter 15: Just My Luck

Please excuse ANY errors.

December 12, 1998

~Courtney's P.O.V~

After laying in the bed for a few hours, I finally got up off the table, cleaned myself up of everything that came out of me during the process, then put my clothes back on, all with tears streaming down my face. Turns out, I was two weeks when I officially found out I was pregnant. Now I'm almost six. The procedure didn't leave me in as much physical pain as I thought, possibly because the mental anguish overpowered that feeling.

Me coming to a conclusion on my decision and preparing for this procedure caused me mental and emotional pain. I'm at my most emotional state now that's really getting to me. My emotions are at an all-time high. There's a part of me that regrets doing going through with it, but another part that's glad it's over.

I finally got enough courage to leave the room. Even though the rest of the women here are getting an abortion or are here in support of someone getting an abortion, I still feel like this is the walk of shame. I spotted Tia and she stood up once she saw me. We walked out of the clinic silently and once we were outside, tears poured down my face. I couldn't stop them from flowing. She pulled me into a hug and we rocked side to side.

"I think I made a mistake." I cried out.

She didn't say anything, my best friend just continued to hug me. It was a tough decision, but it already happened. I can't backtrack. It's over. I'm glad that I have someone I can call a friend who refused to let me go through this alone. I was definitely going to go alone, but I'm glad she is here. I need more support than I thought. I figured it'd be a pretty easy task, but no. This is hard! When we finally made it to the car and I sat there with my head in my hands.

"Do you think I made the right decision?" I said turning to Tia.

She hesitated to speak, "I- I can't- I can't say whether or not you made the right decision, Court. At the end of the day, my opinion is irrelevant. YOU have to make that decision for yourself."

"I don't know..." I strapped myself in.

I'm not in the best financial situation. Shit, I still struggle to get by sometimes. I'm not open about it, but my little job doesn't do much. After paying bills, I don't have much left. I'm JUST getting by with not very much spending money. I don't have the means to care for a child nor do I know the first things about taking care of one. I feel like I went through college for nothing. Some people luck up with their careers. Others like me don't.

I know Tia said that she'd help me if I ever needed it, but as I said before, I don't like asking for huge favors like that. I'm sure Elijah probably would've too if he found out. I'd rather find my own way. Not to mention my child wouldn't have had a consistent father. Both men have careers that keep them away, especially Jermaine. I strongly believe that it was his child, but I'm not sure. Jermaine still acts like a child himself.

I asked Jermaine a few days ago if he would want kids, I didn't tell him I was pregnant or anything, but his exact answer was a hard and loud "FUCK NO, I ain't got time for no kids. Why would you ask me some shit like that?" Why should I keep a child when it's not wanted by both parents? I say both, but there's a small part of me that did want to keep my child.

It was a seventy-five percent chance that it was Jermaine's. I can't be 100% sure. You see, it can take up to six days after intercourse for an egg to fertilize. I slept with Jermaine without protection closer to the given date. The date was just a prediction though. When the conversation occurred with Choi, it was days AFTER the given date. Maybe a week. So I may have already been pregnant.