Queen Of Hearts | Roger Taylor

XXVIII

← · · · ✭ 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐮𝐬 ✭ · · · →

A few days later, I was walking towards his apartment. I had left this morning before I was able to actually think about the decision I was making. Was I really going to see him? It had been so long since I last saw him. Brian told me this was the right thing, but now that I was here, I couldn't help but doubt that. I didn't want to admit that I was actually missing him more than I thought I would.

I walked along the long street, passing the numbers slowly. His place was getting closer. Seventy-five, seventy-six and before I knew it, I was standing in front of seventy-seven. Just as I rang the doorbell, I realized that this might've been stupid. He could have company right now and then I would look like a fool standing here.

Right when I thought turning around and leaving was the best option, the door opened. I turned around again and looked straight into his deep blue eyes. His face lit up in shock when he saw me. He leaned against the doorframe, wearing his usual attire. A light-coloured tee with some flared trousers.

"Hey," I softly said. I staggered a little on my feet, not knowing what else to say. It was awkward between us.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. Jumping right in. Of course, knowing him there was never time for small talk.

"Brian told me about the tour. Thought I would come and see you," I told him. He sighed and held the door open, letting me step inside.

There were clothes and other miscellaneous things were scattered all over the floor. The whole place was a mess and his suitcases were open, but the things inside weren't neatly folded. Roger was never the one to keep a tidy living area, so I had expected this. There were some beer bottles on the dressers next to the television and a bunch of cigarettes.

I looked around a little, and it must've been obvious because he sighed and sat on the couch. I removed a pile of clothes from one of the chairs and sat down. We didn't say anything to each other for a few minutes until I spoke up.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Great," he simply answered. Sounded like a lie.

"Really?" I couldn't help but say. It even came out ironic.

"Yeah, just living my rockstar dreamlife, you know?" he spat at me. He threw my own words back at me. I had that one coming.

He stood up, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. Standing by the window, I watched as he blew out the smoke graciously. His left foot was tapping the floor impatiently, something he always did when he was either nervous or uncomfortable.

"You don't have to keep looking around, there is no one else here," he said when I tried to peak in the bathroom.

I stood up, walking over to the dinner table. His boarding pass and passport were lying in a pile of cash. Next to his watch, there was what looked like a folded photograph. I opened it up and saw it was one of us two. Both of us were laughing at something, he stood behind me and leaned his head on my shoulder. It was the one that was previously in the frame on his fireplace.

"What are you really doing here, Lotus?" he asked me again, but this time sounding more demanding. I dropped the picture and sighed.

"I don't know. I did it without thinking,", I answered honestly.

Brian wasn't right, I shouldn't have come. Whatever mess I created when he left, was something that I couldn't fix right now. Even though I wanted to so bad. I wanted to be with him, but why was it so hard for me to admit that?