Se Agapo 1: Moonlight Agape

Chapter Twenty Four

FHRILLIZZIE KELL WAINWRIGHT

“Hi po. Kumusta ka na, dad? It's been awhile since I last visited you.”

Lumuhod ako sa harapan ng puntod ng tatay ko habang tinitirikan siya ng kandila. Sabado ngayon at katulad ng nakasanayanan ko na noon ay umaga pa lang, binibisita ko na siya. After the changes happened, my usual routine became foreign to me. Pakiramdam ko ay ito ang unang beses na pumunta ako rito. And just like the first time, I came here with a broken heart.

My chest tightened when the breeze of the cold air enveloped me.

“D-dad, alam mo po ba? May nagustuhan akong lalaki na naging professor ko sa school. Ang gwapo-gwapo niya at ang nice pa. Napakatalino at napakagaling niya rin pong lawyer. Marami pong nagkakagusto roon at isa na po ako b-but I tried to decline my feelings for him kaya lang po...biglang nanligaw sa akin eh.” I lightly laugh and then continued storytelling. “When you were gone...akala ko tuluyan nang magiging dull ang buhay but when he came, he shielded and loved me the way you did. I trusted him, dad. Minahal ko siya nang sobra-sobra and it hurts to think that the man who put back my faded smiles is the reason why I'm crying today.”

“D-daddy, your princess misses you so much!”

The tears I've been surpressing for days dropped as my hand touch the roughness of my father's tombstone. I miss hearing his voice. His smiles, his unending lessons and support. He's been my shield everytime the world is opposing me.

The first man who told me not to be afraid to take risk.

“I'm sorry, dad. I-i am really sorry that I failed you as a daughter...”

“Kell...”

My body stiffened but my chest pounded eratically that even if I won't face my back, I exactly know who owns that voice.

“Phaillous, what are you doing here?”

I thought my voice would shake as my inner body does but suprisingly, it was a cold one.

Natuto na ba ako? O sadyang takot lang akong mahulog lalo sa kanya because I admit, kahit galit ako sa kanya ay naroon pa rin ang pagmamahal ko. Hinihiling ko pa rin sa Panginoon na sana ay panaginip na lang ito at totoong mahal niya ako. Na ang lahat ng ipinaramdam niya sa akin ay totoo, walang halong substandard feelings. Walang kasinungalingan.

“Mine, iniiwasan mo ba ako? Did I do something to hurt you?”

I bit my lower lip to force my self not to say anything. Kasi ngayon, wala na ang tapang kong alamin ang katotohanan mula sa kanya. I'm fed up.

Bakit kasi sa lahat ng pwede kong makilala, kasama pa siya?

Bakit sa lahat ng lalaking pwede kong mahalin ay siya pa? Nakakainis.

“Please Kell, talk to me.” Mariin akong napapikit nang maglandas sa pandinig ko ang pakikiusap niya. Ayaw ko man ay wala na rin akong magagawa kung hindi ang harapin siya.

“How did you know I am here?” I asked nonchalantly.

His coal black eyes immediately settled into mine the first time I turned to face him. His white as snow skin-tone never failed to amaze me and his body build became more massive than the last time I saw him. How could this man be handsome every day?

My expression hardened when he smiled. Can he stop smiling? Baka kasi makalimutan ko na naman ang lahat at maging makasarili na naman ako.