Trust Falls

My songs know what you did in the dark

Time ticked by slowly as they stood in the alley, Katsuki leaning back against the wall and holding Izuku to his chest carefully. The blonde stared vacantly at the wall across from him trying to get his thoughts in some semblance of order.

Everything was just so jumbled.

Katsuki didn't know what emotions were swirling around in his chest at the moment, all too mixed together at the moment for him to really untangle them.

Part of him wanted to rage and blow up everything within a fifty foot radius. The quieter part of him just wanted to curl up somewhere and try to forget that today had even happened.

Everything had been going so well. His parents hadn't completely embarrassed him when he'd brought Izuku home and the date had been going so well up until...

Dabi.

Dabi, of all people, had a history with the nerd.

Even if he didn't admit it to anyone else, Katsuki still had nightmares about the scared bastard and that night at the training camp. Could sometimes still feel the man's hand wrapped around the back of his neck as he was pulled into that portal.

But that was, now, the man who kept Izuku alive.

That man was now the person he owed for having the chance to apologize to Izuku. For keeping him alive when no one was there or aware that he was in danger.

That was now, also, someone so dear to Izuku that even as mad as the green haired teen was, he still admitted to caring for him?

How was Katsuki supposed to reconcile any of this?

It left his mind spinning and his chest tight.

His therapist was going to have a field day with this shit when he finally got in to see her.

Katsuki was pulled out of his swirling and circling thoughts as Izuku shifted in his hold a little, nuzzling his face into his shirt as if he could read Katsuki's mind.

He'd certainly known that he wouldn't react well to this information. Which was why he'd kept it a secret.

How many more secrets was the green haired teen keeping from him? How many more 'surprises' was he due for?

Did he even want to know, really?

Before he could get lost in his thoughts again, the smaller teen was pulling back a little to peek up at his face. He couldn't be sure what the other was seeing but it likely wasn't good nor what he was looking for if the way he bit his lip and pulled away a little more was anything to go by.

"Kacchan, I'm sorry. I really am..."

"Sorry that it happened like this or that I found out at all..."

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them and for a brief moment he felt bad. Izuku's expression closed off and he stepped away from Katsuki all together, letting go of his hand and turning his face away.

"What do you want me to say, Kacchan? No, I didn't ever think it would be relevant information." The teen mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and shifting uncomfortably.

"Relevant information? You didn't think the fact that you have connections to the league and a wanted criminal isn't relevant information?!" Katsuki exploded finally, pushing away from the wall he was leaned against to step back into Izuku's space. "Didn't think that your ex boyfriend is part of the League and might hold a grudge was relevant information?!"

"If you want a list of every single wanted criminal I have connections to, we're going to be here a very long time Kacchan." Izuku ground out, finally looking up at Katsuki. He uncrossed his arms from his chest and pushed on Katsuki's chest with a growl. "I am a wanted criminal. I've done so much shit that I can't ever tell you that it could fill ten more notebooks than I already have. I'm sorry that I'm not the sweet innocent Deku I was when I tried to kill myself."

Katsuki jerked like he'd been slapped and watched as Izuku turned away from him, stalking angrily back to the other side of the alley and curled in on himself. Katsuki's own shoulders dropped as he took a deep breath and dragged a hand through his hair.

How had today turned out so awful? All he'd wanted to do was show Izuku he cared and wanted to make this work...

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he approached the smaller teen once more. He carefully laid a hand on Izuku's shoulder and gently pulled until he was facing him again. Katsuki cursed himself as he noticed the tears building in the other's eyes.

"I don't want you to be that person, Izuku, I just...." With a frustrated huff, he cut himself off and glanced away, trying to find the words to convey the swirling mass of emotions in his chest. "I was caught off guard, tonight, and I am trying so hard to understand who you are now..."

Izuku swiped at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie before turning to face Katsuki again fully. He hated how small and closed off he was, angry with himself that he caused this. Angry with Dabi for being bastard enough to cause this entire situation.