When I look into the reflection of my eyes all I see is you in them and feel you knocking on my heart. I hate being so in love with you it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time makes me feel like I could barely breath like my heart is too grown too big to let any air out of my lungs. It all saddens me because I can't have you the way that I want to I just know that I have loved you for 3 years and I will love you for the rest of my life I just rather let you finally go because we can't always have the things that we want . I finally started reading a new book and it has your name written all over it every word I read reminds me of you it's all full of love and heartache and with you I have been through almost every emotion. I think I actually started pushing you away because I was afraid of getting close again and getting hurt I just made it out of hell and I'm not ready to go back. Baby love I want you to be happy and have everything you have ever wished in life. I have always seen you like an angel and a demon at the same time but baby that's what we all humans are made of we are made out of half good and half evil you are not a monster for breaking my heart and many other girls I forgive you for all that but my wounds just won't heal yet and Forgiving is not forgetting. I don't hate you at all for anything there is just big bad storms of trust issues in the middle of this all and it will take so much to get it back and you are so far away and distance is another problem and all I need right now is my own peace of mind I love you I wish you'd love me back at least like I love you but that's something I'll never really see happening from your point of view. 3.15.18
