Supernatural Series Rewrite- Season 7

Adventures in Babysitting: Part One

Week One

There is a hole inside your heart where your dad once was. You've cried enough tears at the hospital, thinking you've dried yourself out. You can't cry, you can't breathe, you can't move, and you can't even think without it hurting. You haven't said a word since you left the hospital, and in understanding, neither have Sam or Dean. No one has said a word to each other, and soon enough, the silence will hurt you.

Joanna gets taken care of when she needs it, but it's been the bare minimum. If she needs her diaper changed, Dean does it. If she needs to be fed, Sam does it. If she needs to be bathed, Dean does it. Sam and Dean do everything because you physically can't.

Every movement, every thought, every breath reminds you of your dad. Since you have nowhere to go that's permanent, you decided to move into Rufus' cabin that your dad was using. It's the only place you can think of going despite your entire body telling you to flee and to never return.

Why is his death so hard on you? You've lost people before, so why is this one different? You've only really gotten to know him five years ago, and even before that, he was only pretending to be your uncle all the whole knowing he was your father. While you should be angry that he did that, you know exactly why he did what he did.

He was scared just like you are now.

How can you go on knowing he put his life at risk for you? How can you go on knowing he is never going to come home to you. You'll never be able to make new memories, never hear his voice again, never look into his eyes, and never hear him tell you how much he loves you. Maybe that's why you're so numb; you know how much this is going to hurt if you let it in. You're blocking out the pain to keep it from drowning you because you're scared you'll die if you let in.

With happiness comes pain, and if you let yourself feel the joy then you'll feel everything else... you can't deal with that which is why you haven't said anything since you left the hospital. You're scared you'll break down if you even utter one word.

Joanna knows something is going on because she is a very perceptive baby. Maybe it's the magic in her or maybe it's because she's too smart for her own good, but she can tell something is wrong. Her mother isn't affectionate towards her anymore, her father is tense and closed off more than usual, and her uncle is radiating a sadness about him that's not usually there.

Except for the cooing Joanna is doing to herself, the entire cabin is shrouded in silence. No one has anything to say, no one wants to say anything, and no one has the energy to do anything except sit here in deafening silence.

Dean looks over at you, his wife, and his heart breaks at the sight of you. You got that look that only dead people have. People that know they've lost the fight within themselves but still keep on living for some reason. He honestly doesn't know how to help you because it's not like he can bring him back from the dead. It's not like Bobby went quickly and painlessly; you had to go inside his head to say goodbye. He knows how heartbroken you are, but if you don't talk to him, then how can he help you move on?

It's only been a week, so he understands why you're sitting away from everyone else and staring out the window. He glances at his younger brother but quickly looks away soon after. He can't stand to look at anyone because it only reminds him of what he lost.

Sam, on the other hand, knew this was coming. He prepared for it while it was happening, and he was starting to get Dean there as well. The hardest part would be trying to convince you, but he didn't do that too well. All he wants is to take your pain away—everyone's pain—but this has to happen. He has to sit in the grief and let it shape who he is to finally get Dick from hurting anyone else.