Freaks (Marauders Era)

Chapter 6

TW! brief and non-descriptive mentions of physical abuse, stay safe and take care of yourselves guys.

Lunch hour had started normal enough. James, Sirius and Peter had sat down at a table and started talking. Then came the bullshit.

The first phase was the gryffindor volleyball girls coming to both of the boys and getting, uncomfortably handsy and overt with their flirting. Peter was openly dismissive of their advances multiple times saying that he wasn't into people like that until they left him alone. James didn't seem to mind too much, though he did have to shove off Kathrine Tofty more than once. Sirius, on the other hand was immensely uncomfortable. Though he tried to cover it up with his usual flirting and cockiness. But James noticed.

He mouthed from across the table as he was talking to Kathrine and Adeline, "you wanna get out of here?"

"Yes please" Sirius mouthed back, a wave of relief washed over him when James quickly announced that all three of them had to get going, however it was quickly diminished when he saw two boys glaring at them from the corner. One with the same grey-blue eyes as himself, a face he hadn't seen in months except in passing. Regulus.

Sirius felt a sinking rock in his stomach. It suddenly occured to him just how much he had just messed up that summer. Especially after he left.

★★★

Sirius' mood was subdued for the rest of the day, his usual snark and theatrics gone. It was impossible not to notice, though nobody asked in front of him, lest he blow in their face.

Which is why James waited until it was after school and they were in his car to drive back to potter manor to ask him.

"What's been up with you today?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Sirius barked out.

"What you just did. You've been prickly and depressed all day"

"Aren't people allowed to have bad days, Potter"

They pulled into the driveway and James turned off the car, before turning to Sirius. It was dead silent now, no music or the rumbling of the engine. "You are allowed a bad day, I just want you to know that you can talk about it with me."

"I know, and I promise I will, I just-" a sudden thought struck him, "I'm gonna call Remus."

"What? Why Remus?" James wasn't quite sure what was going on, though he had started to gain an inkling since they both snuck off at the party.

"Because!"

James raised his brow a little before hopping out of the car, "Okay then."

★★★

A little while later, after checking with Euphemia to make sure that it was alright, Sirius took her car to go pick up Remus.

Twenty minutes of driving later, he pulled into a driveway of a small house, with an overgrown garden and a broken chain fence. It would have been quaint if the house seemed so, devoid of life, like something used to be there, but it was all but gone.

Sirius walked up to path and went to knock on the door, before he could hear footsteps rushing from behind it. Thankfully Sirius had stepped back, because the door had pushed open towards him, with a panting Remus behind it.

"Hi- sorry for the- wait" he said, In-between deep breaths.

Sirius chuckled a little at Remus' franticness, "you're fine Remus'. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, yeah of course"

All sirius could think in this moment was, 'How the fuck is this guy who's nearly a foot taller than me, cute and hot? That shouldn't be allowed. Fuckin prick.'

They both got into the car and started driving. Stopping at a nearby park that Remus provided the directions to.

When they had finally found a place to sit, underneath an oak tree that hung high enough that Remus' wouldn't hit his head.

"Did I ever tell you that I had a brother?"

"No, I don't think you did." Remus' had of course heard about it, the rift between the two brothers that used to be close.

Before the event that had gotten Sirius downgraded to a stepping stone to the great James Potter, there were rumors that flew about, that he "snapped" and went on a rampage, that he up and left in the middle of the night to stay at James'. Though only the people there knew what had really happened.

"His name is Regulus."

Remus didn't dare interupt, just let Sirius continue to talk.

"Around the end of last year, my parents found a bunch of my things, including everything that said I was gay.

"I'm scared for him."

"Regulus?" Remus' asked.

Sirius nodded, "I'm scared that, now I'm gone, now that I left him, he hates me, or the house has gotten worse and he's taking the fall. Or that when I'm brave enough to talk to him, he won't love me anymore. That the one good thing that came out of that god forsaken house, doesn't think I'm worth anything." He took a deep breath before saying in a quiet voice, "I don't think I could survive that."

Remus could only pull the shorter boy into a hug. The world felt so small in that moment. All the noise seemed fizzle out into nothing more than the background. The shade of the tree they sat under only accenting the tears on Black's face.

"He called you know. After I left" he took a deep breath, and swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"What did he say?"

"I didn't answer them. I couldn't. I was so scared that my parents would hurt him or me for uttering a word." He held his tongue when it came to the call he finally did answer.

"You we're vulnerable and scared. I don't blame you for not answering."

"But the problem is he does."

"You don't know that."

"But I do! He looked at me today, with so much pain and anger in his eyes. And I just feel so guilty."

"I get it. I really do. But you weren't ready. It's his own problem that he blames you."

Sirius couldn't not talk about it anymore, he wasn't free of blame. "I answered one"

"What?"

"I answered one of his calls."

"What did you say?" There wasn't any accusation in his voice, only understanding. It was refreshing.

Sirius could barely get out words, using all his energy to choke back sobs and regulate his breathing, but Remus reached out and held Sirius' hand again, calming him down.

"He said that he wasn't upset. That he understood why I left."

Remus' felt that there was a lot more coming.

"I got angry at him. I couldn't understand why he wasn't mad at me, so I lashes out, I said so many awful things Remus, so many things. " he wanted to say more, how he used his voice like a hot knife, slashing and burning one of the only family members that cared, that knew everything.

Remus once again found himself speechless, it reminded him of the night his father died. His father and his mother had gotten into an argument, before leaving to go to a wedding. It was supposed to be a happy day. And then with a flash, his father was gone, he was scarred, and his mother had nearly lost her mind. His happy day was gone.

It felt like so long ago, Remus had thought the tears dried up by now, apparently he was wrong.

It was a while before they left, taking their sweet time to dry the tears before getting back into the car. There was nothing left to say it seemed. Little did they know a boy was still there. He hadn't meant to hear what they were talking about, but after hearing the familiar voice, he couldn't help but stay. And so there sat another blue- grey eyed boy, rethinking it all.

★★★

Notes:

I projected a lot in this chapter and I feel like I'm going to regret it but I don't want to take it out cause it's some of the best dialogue writing I've done in my opinion, so, here we are.