Abducted By The Playboy

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Isang buwan na ang lumipas simula noong iniwan ako ng tuluyan ni Daddy,  isang buwan na rin ang lumipas na tila wala na rin akong ganang mabuhay.

Everything was too hard for me, it was hard to adjust and live a new beginning without him by my side, I was too dependent on him, that is why, waking up everyday without him knocking at my door is so lifeless, going to the kitchen after school was not that lively anymore. Kasi alam ko na wala na akong makikitang Ama ko na nagluluto at mag-aaya sa akin na kumain. Wala na ang ama ko na sasalubong sa akin at babatiin ako na may kasamang ngiti at halik.

Kahit alam ko ang katotohanan, I still choose to live in my own delusion that he's alive and everything that happened are just a nightmare.

Hindi na rin naging maganda ang performance ko sa skwela, everything around me was dull. I feel like I wasn't actually living.

Hanggang ngayon ay nahihirapan pa rin akong mag move on and I don't even think that I can move on from this pain.

I was suffocated at our own house, because every corner of it reminds me of my Dad, there are some nights that I'll just wake up and tears are tremendously falling from my eyes. At sa mga sumusunod na buwan, I was diagnosed with Depression.

Jayson stayed with me throughout my darkest days, kahit madalas ay hindi ko na siya kinikibo, minsan ay naaawa na rin ako sa kanya dahil alam kong nahihirapan na rin siya. Masyadong malaki ang naging epekto ng pagkawala ni Daddy sa akin.

Jayson find some expert psychiatrist and have me check. Pero kahit ganoon ay hindi pa rin nawala ang depression ko, bawat araw mas naging mabigat para sa akin ang lahat, mas lalo akong nahihirapan, palagi nalang akong umiiyak, there are also times that I attempt to hurt myself, buti nalang at nakita ako ni Jayson kaya hindi natuloy.

Everyday I feel like giving up, kahit ang araw ay parang madilim na para sa akin, nawalan na ako ng gana sa lahat, nawalan na ako ng pag-asa.

Pero kahit ganoon, ay nais ko pa ring lumaban, kahit sukong-suko na ako sa sarili ko.

"Jay," mahinang tawag ko kay Jayson, he was now sitting on the couch, habang ako naman ay nakahiga at nakaunan sa kandungan niya.

Dinungaw niya ako, "hmm?" He hummed softly.

"Gusto kong umalis." Saad ko habang nakapikit. Ayaw ko siyang tingnan.

"Where do you want to go?" He ask softly while sweetly caressing my hair.

" Sa malayo," I answered.

Naramdaman kong napatigil siya sa paghaplos ng buhok ko. He heave a sigh.

"Sama ako," he said and continue to caress my hair.

"I want to leave alone, Jay." I answered weakly, "I want to go to a place where I could forget the pain, i wanted to heal, I wanted to leave."

"Sasamahan kita roon, Ariel." He said.

Umiling ako, humarap ako sa tiyan niya at doon ibinaon ang aking mukha, ayaw ko siyang makita dahil masasaktan lang ako pag nakita ko siyang nasasaktan.

"I want to be independent, I wanted to learn how to stand alone, Jay."

"But you don't have to, Honey. I'm here, I will be with you no matter what happened, I will stay with you. Bakit kailangan mo pang matutong mag-isa kung p'wede mo naman akong isama." Giit pa niya.

"Ayaw kong masaktan ka, I know this past few months everything was too painful for you, too. Even if you won't admit it,  I know that you are also struggling."