Loving The Broken✓

35• Rebuilding a Broken Trust

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Jiddah's POV

Rebuilding trust when it's been broken is not dependent only on the person who has broken it, or how many times they can proove they are honest and are willing to make the relationship work again. It depends on the person who has decided not to trust again or go back to the relationship. No matter the effort Yusuf puts and the love and dedication he shows towards me it can't erase the memories of him I have or make me love him again, yes I once loved him but now I have no atom of feelings for him.

He keeps on trying, he still hasn't given up, he wants us to go back to been couples. He visited Aunty Aina'u twice in the village and brought food stuffs and beverages saying he missed Maryam and wanted to see her. He pleaded with Aunty Aina'u to ask me to pick his calls. I did when he called and he insisted to come and see me in school and now he's here. He has been talking for the past 20minutes while I just look at him and nod my head when necessary.

"I don't know what got into my head that I treated you the way I did, I'm very sorry, if there is anything more sorry than sorry I'll say it jiddah. I hurt you so bad I find myself hating myself for every minute of the day. I know I've hurt you badly and I'm ready to correct my mistakes, please just tell me what I need to do Jiddah. Jiddah I'm in love with you, if you can't come back to me the please tell me how do I live without you, because it seems almost impossible. By now you should have realized that I'm serious, it's been more than a year now but I'm still chasing you like a Dog, why Can't you have mercy on this soul and give him another chance" he said with teary eyes. Now I'm confused, if I continue listening to his words history might repeat it self.

"Yusuf why are you doing this to yourself. You can get a woman who is better than me in every aspect so why stuck yourself here forever. You don't have a place in my heart again please let's do our selves a favour and stay away from each other. All this won't help and please don't visit me or Maryam again" I said fiddling with the straw in my glass cup, yes we are in the school cafe.

"Jiddah I know you to be a kind hearted human being, why the sudden change?, Or is it because of that Lecturer?" He asked with a frown on his face. "Pardon?"

"Yes, the one you're dating" he said. "Are you serious right now?, Who are you talking about?" I asked. "That lecturer, the one that visit you in your hostel" he said.

Wow, just wow. He's referring to Farouq,Aunty Khadija's brother in-law. "Ohh so you've been stalking me all this while?" I asked. "Yes, I have someone spying on you. It's because I love you and I won't let any one stand in between us. It's me you've known for a long time Jiddah, please don't get distracted" he said.

"I'm not dating him, he only visited me twice. Wait why am I even explaining myself to you?, So what if I'm dating him, it's non of your concern is it?, Do you remember when you told me to go to hell and never step my foot into your house. It's not even about who you've known for a long time it's about who cares the most" I stated. "You're bringing up this issue again. Humans are bound to make mistakes in their lives Jiddah. To err is human to forgive is Divine. I'm going to give you enough time to think about what we've discussed today and I'm glad you're not dating him. You're not with any Man because you want me back Jiddah, can't you see it?" He chuckled.

"I'm not with any Man because I've lost interest in men. That gender have done a lot of damage in my life. I want to focus on studies and see what I can do for myself and my family. Marriage is not on my mind okay. So it's better you go back to your beautiful wife at home and stop disturbing me" I said.

"I regret choosing her over you wallahi. I don't know what came over me but whatever it is I'm sure I've learnt my lesson. Please tell me you'll think about it again" he pleaded. "Okay I will" I said not because I'm going to change my mind. "Can I go now?" I asked. "Yeah sure, let me walk you back to the hostel" he said.